I'm Happy Doing That.

It seems as though life is pretty hectic for many people at the moment... the one person who does more work on the center than I do turned in her resignation yesterday. There is no way the center will be able to recover from that.  Even if they did decide to keep our center open for just a little while longer by some miracle... there is going to be a year or so of transition where our numbers will be horrible. On top of that.. it seems as though the attitude of staff and students alike is going down the crapper.  I am hesitant to see what things are going to unfold as our center becomes inundated with people who are just going through the motions to draw a paycheck... and students who just have no other place to go or nothing better to do at the moment.  I really do believe in the program.. and would love to see it succeed.... but just a handful of people cannot change the way things are there..

I am getting the fishing bug.. I want to get out in the nice weather and fish.. haven't had this urge in years.. today is going to be stormy as a cold front moves through.. but in a week or so... it's going to be back to wonderful Spring weather.  I had a debate the other day about the difference between Sunfish and Crappie.. and I will admit I was partially wrong.. Crappie are a type of Sunfish.. but so are Rock Bass.. Largemouth Bass.. and Bluegill.. which is what I was thinking of in the first place.. but misquoted the term for them.  Anyway.. I have no problem admitting when I was wrong.. 

I still put my blog out.. and try to get what I'm thinking about out of my head.  I did sleep well last night.. I'm still on my starvation diet.. but even if I'm feeling really good physically.. I've been told that I am mean and snappish to my friends.. at least one friend in particular.. the thing is.. I asked my students if they had noticed any change in my behavior the last few weeks.. and they can't tell any difference.. so either 20 people in my classroom don't pay attention.. or I'm such a professional that I am able to keep my latent irritation in check at work.. or my friend is noticing something that isn't there.... or I'm just irritable with her.  I personally don't see it... as I am just keeping with my attitude of being honest.. I suppose that blunt honesty isn't something that everyone sees the same way.  The thing is.. once a person becomes pretty close to me.. yes.. I am going to say things without trying to dance around the truth.. because I figure that people can handle directness.. After much time spent around me, that should be what most people expect.  I won't go back to being coy with anyone.. I'm a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy... and whatever is on my mind.. is what I'm going to say.  Maybe it's not all my issue... but I'm not above admitting that there might be something I just don't see. I like where my body is physically at... and I feel so much better physically.. I don't understand why I would be irritable.. at least any more than usual.  The comment made was... they would go fishing with me.. but would bring a book to read while I fished.. to which I replied.. if you were just going to sit there and read.. don't come fishing.. you can do that anywhere.. I am the type of person that will talk some while fishing if I'm with someone.. I know that people say you can't catch fish if you talk... I think that's something that parents tell their kids so they will be quiet.. look at Roland Martin.. or other fishing tv shows.. if they have to be quiet to catch fish.. they're doing it all wrong.. personally someone who makes at least 10 times the amount I make just from fishing has my confidence in their style of fishing.  

I don't know how much longer I'm going to not eat.. at times I just want to say screw it.. and go pig out on the nearest junk food.. but then I would feel like I let myself down.. I am stronger than that.. and I will continue to do what I'm doing until I get where I want to be.  I might be able to do it a bit smarter than what I'm doing now.. but this is what I picked.. and this is what I will stay with.  I am going to incorporate a somewhat healthier eating lifestyle once I get to my goal.  It will take some times to work out.. but I will adjust.. just as I do with every other thing in my life. Most of my life is still about me adjusting to other people.. right now... I'm adjusting to something that I personally set in motion.. and I'm happy doing that.