The Way It Has To Be.

Another Monday...  didn't accomplish much of anything this weekend..  I seem to get more and more frustrated with playing my World of Warcraft game.. they've crossed all the realms.. and now everyone has to compete with "umpteen" million more people for items in a quest.. sure the respawn rate is much quicker.. but still not enough to make the game somewhat more frustrating to play.. and my whole idea behind playing is to unwind.. and escape the frustrations of life.. I don't need to have them piled on me there too.. luckily I can turn off the game.. most of the time.. when I get frustrated.  If it keeps going the way it is though.. I can see me not spending nearly as much time doing that.

I keep talking about fishing.. and it seems more and more appealing.. just me.. sitting on a riverbank in the shade.. relaxing.. waiting to see if the fish are going to bite.. and not really caring a whole lot if they don't.  I almost went to my Dad's house to pick up my fishing stuff.. but he started off the weekend on Friday being a pain.. so I elected to avoid him this weekend.  I am certain that it won't be long before I'm over it.. and can just remember to try to put up with him for as long as I can.

I had to cover the department manager again Friday.. and last night he texted that he won't be in today.. it seems he has work to do from home.. that he will just interrupted and not get done if he comes in... which is bullshit.. I don't get to take a day off and work from home catching up on paperwork.. but such is life.. I suppose that's because I am directly supervising students who are required to be under direct-line supervision... but it's still difficult to deal with all the others at my center not giving a crap.. it seems like everyone has already given up.. which I am certain the center will close.. but it won't be because of me... or anything I've done.. I will just enjoy being done with the limbo....

I'm still not eating.. it's been 10 days exactly now since I had anything... other than sodas.. a few protein drinks.. and some milk.. I'm going to reach 160 if it kills me.. It will be nice to be back to a 34 waist too.. but that's not why I'm doing it.. I remember feeling so much better than I do now.. and I don't want to stay in the zone I'm in.. and right now.. it's one of the things I can change.  I seem to get pummeled by life at every turn.. but I'm going to keep striving to make improvements to myself.. my surgery has pretty much completely healed now.. and I am seeing a difference in why I had it done.. any sign of psoriasis in that area is fading.. almost gone.. but we'll see where that ends up.

I know I haven't blogged much the last few days.. I just keep feeling frustrated by so many things.. that it sometimes is overwhelming.. I started to blog several times, but couldn't get anything put down in print... I am trying to adjust to where I am.. and I seem to be making great strides at accepting that my life is the way it is.. I take times where I do miss the past.. but I am living in the present.. the past is gone.. over and out of my life.. there's no reason for me to even think about it anymore.  I will continue to live for now.. and have thoughts for only the near future.. as there are too many things that can come out of the blue and tear me down.. I only trust me.. and I can only do for me.. I continue to be selfish that way.. but that's the way it has to be.