Go Peddle That Stuff Elsewhere.

There are times.. when life gets so hectic.. that we choose not to look at what is actually happening around us... instead we worry about little tidbits of events here.. and there.. that really have no bearing on our life at all.  We focus on unimportant issues because we get dazzled by the smoke and mirrors of people... or things that try to manipulate us. I know there are goals I've set for myself.. and for the most part I try to stick with them, but the easier goals themselves can become as elusive as the more difficult ones we seek... if we lose sight of what we are trying to accomplish.

I tend to be a bit gruff at times in the way I approach people.... maybe because I don't want people to misinterpret what I'm saying... because I've found that if you aren't direct.. and leave anything open to being misconstrued... it will generally result in a mis-communication. I don't like people to put words in my mouth.. nor do I enjoy having someone believe I'm something I'm not... but I see where that can happen at times.  I try to remain open to possibilities in my future.. but I seek to escape the destructive forces of my past.. I let people manipulate me into thoughts or beliefs.. but I'm much stronger than that now.. Life is full of people who will say or do what they can to get their way.. and then when they tire of that... they will move on to the next person.. I've learned that wholeheartedly.. Sometimes we all tend to do or say things that manipulate people.. and to be honest.. I'm probably one of the best at doing so. It's almost like a superpower sometimes... but I don't want to ever become a super-villain.. I always try to act in a person's best interest... when I was much younger.. I always wanted the super power of invisibility.. because then I could sneak in anywhere.. and look at anything or anyone I wanted to..  but as I've grown older.. I wish my super power was the ability to read minds.... because I've learned that what a person thinks.. and what they actually say are most often not the same thing... Yes I realize that a lot of times that saying exactly what is on your mind could lead to many conflicts... but I know that I would much rather someone come right out and tell me I'm a piece of shit... rather than smile and be my friend.. then go talk about me being a piece of shit to someone else.   Even if I can't read minds.. I know that most people will say things to spare my feelings.. and I've become accustomed to expecting the worst from people.  I give anyone a chance in my life.. and I will continue to do so.. I try not to verbally shut down anyone.. and I will even put away my cynical attitude for the most part.. but I cannot just change my way of thinking overnight... I keep a constant look out on how I can change things in my life for the better.. sometimes, I think that maybe I am so negative that I push away a lot of positive aspects.. If that is the case, I need to try to refocus my energies... but there is only so much bullshit I can stand in my life at one time.  I try not to give shit.. and I don't want to take shit.. I'm not in the shit market. Go peddle that stuff elsewhere.