Where Has The EPA Been All My Life?

Lying there.. my body warm anticipating with excitement as I see her approach... I feel a yearning growing inside the pit of my stomach... my sexual desire at full force as is evident by my body's reaction... I feel her body as she crawls over mine.. our skin creating a fiery friction as she straddles me.. then I wake up... and all is quiet.. the room is lonely.. and I am left in my present state.. Such is my life.  I have memories to hold on to.. but currently that is all I have.. I miss the touch of another person.. the tastes.. the sounds our bodies make.. but all of it is only brought about through vague recollections and fleeting dreams.   I don't like living this way.  I think that it is unnatural for us to go without human contact or face-to-face interaction.  I've adapted whatever was I could.. and am okay with just a bit of normal social banter... because I have to be.  But I honestly don't know what my mind is capable of believing in.  I'd like to think that at some point in time in the future I might actually overcome my insecurities.. but then there are times when I remember trusting in something only to have it ripped away with really no plausible explanation. I told myself that it was just with the wrong person.. and I'll know when it's right.. but even with that thought running through my head, I wonder... not because I believe people are lying.. there are few out there that tell the truth.. well.. as they see it. Too many times what we want to believe as the truth... just is something we want to believe in... so it's difficult to really count on very much.  It's like the vehicle I had last year for a few short months.. I tried to be a good person and help a coworker's student out.. by selling him a rough used car that was just sitting in my driveway... so I signed the title over to him to go change over into his name.... well.. that didn't happen.. because I'm now delinquent in my taxes on it.. it's not very much.. that's not the point.. but now I have to go get a replacement title.. then salvage out the vehicle to cover myself ... the thing is.. if an accident occurs.. I'm still the owner of the vehicle.. legally.. When I do this.. it will make the car illegal to drive.. so I hope he's not still driving it. it needed just a few things fixed when I sold it to him. but.. it was still affordable.. so instead of fixing them myself and driving it.. I let it go to someone who needed it more than I did.. I feel badly about ripping him off.. as I got my money and am now in effect making it where he can never drive it... but he will just have to deal.. I can't keep paying taxes and license on it.

It would be such a wonderful world if everyone were even mostly honest... but in almost all aspects of my life, I keep running into people who are only looking out for themselves... which in and of itself are okay.. but when you screw over others in the process.. well.. that's my issue... I think these people are deserving of what karma gives them.  I have more than gotten my karma retribution during the course of my life... now I'd like to see a bit of the rewards.. some good things have to occur at some point in time.  I keep looking toward the next day... and right now.. that's all I can do.. because, as I've said... our lives are just daily occurrences all events strung together to form a continuous chain. I know what's happened yesterday.. I am fairly certain what will happen today.. and tomorrow.. is just a ..let's see.. I don't think any of us should live in the past.. but there's really no way to walk away from its influence on who we are.. and what we've become because of it.. we develop ourselves as a product of our environment.. well.. where has the EPA been all my life?