That's enough for me..

So... I have been thinking more about the sites.. for the most part.. I am becoming dependent on them to justify who I am... what I'm thinking.. when I can just put forth what I am feeling here.. if I need to get it out.  I try  to justify being there.. to satisfy my need for social interaction.. but the truth is.. there are a number of people that can contact me.. if they choose to remain a part of my world. Does that mean I won't be on the sites anymore? I don't believe so.. it's just becoming a release to try to show everyone who I am... and what I think... why should that matter.  I am happy with who I am.. and shouldn't need to seek the attention of people in general to support that. Unfortunately the longer I am there... the more I seem to do that... why am I on one site more than the other... what causes me to post.. do I want to try to let people know I'm witty?.. I suppose at times.. I enjoy a little harmless banter.. but for the most part.. I am observing a lot of self-destructive behavior.  I don't want to be one of those couples that need to justify my relationship by having other people observe it.  That doesn't mean I will hide it.. I am proud of what I have.. and who I am involved with.. both as friends.. and more.  My friends should understand this.. I figure there will be others that would take offense at what I'm implying.. that's their issue... not mine.. if they are happy with their interaction.. and are getting what they need to get them through the day.. that's perfectly fine..  My friends know that I have always had issues with seeking site approval for validation.. and no matter how we try to disguise it.. it sort of is that.. we want people to realize how wonderful we are.. how we can banter.. and that we have relationships.. I am not saying it doesn't feel good to tell the world.. at least the site world.. of what I have.. and how I am happy... but I think maybe I need a short break.. I will go back when I feel like it.. but first I have to prove something to myself.. if only for a short period of time.  I am thankful for the interaction I've had.. but too many times we cause issues and problems for our true friendships and relationships we develop.. just by the interaction with people we know are just playing us for the same thing I'm talking about... for recognition.  I don't need recognition.. not from everyone.. I enjoy the interaction with my friends.. and that's enough for me.