It's That Simple

A gloomy, rainy weekend.. I have spent much of it on facebook.. just wasting time with games.. sometimes I wonder what is the point?  But... that can be said of about anything.. I think that sometimes we all are just trying to make it through to the next day.. then the next.. The pressures of my job are starting to get to me... as well as the issues I deal with in my home.. I really don't want to share a lot of what's going on in my head... not that I have anything to hide.. but I really can't make a lot of sense of life.
We all tend to gravitate toward things we know are going to cause us pain.. and suffering.. just for a few moments of ...happiness?  I believe people need to think long and hard on what happiness truly is. What is being happy for a bit.. worth... I see people do things daily that appear so stupid... but I am certain that people outside looking in can see things just as objectively... making things I've done look equally as foolish.  I have been warned about all my relationships.. but I still made the choice to go forward with them.. thinking that maybe this time.. I had something they couldn't see.. I suppose I knew better.. and let my pessimistic attitude drop for a bit.. I will learn from my past mistakes.
I am sort of at a point that I have given up on making any relationship work.. even friendships.. I am doing what I can to survive to the next day.. but with all the crap in my life.. I prefer not to involve people that will just add to the drama.. and even though most people say they are not about the drama.. it tends to happen anyway.  I am okay with just existing..  If someone wants to be involved in my life.. they are more than welcome to talk to me.. but don't expect me to put forth much of an effort for anything right now.  I have all my efforts focused in just trying to survive.  I know that I am not the only one with problems.. and issues.. I truly understand that.. but my focus is on me.. and just being able to make it through to the next day. It seems like it's getting more and more difficult to do that.. and I'm not even sure what the problem is.. but I will try to work it out... and deal with it the best way I know how.  As for anyone else around me.. either deal with me the way I am.. or stay away. It's that simple.

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