Deal With It.

I'm thinking that there are too many passive people in the world. People tend to hang on to their feelings so that they don't make waves.. and I know someone already that thinks this is about them... it might be somewhat.. but it's about several people.  The fact is that most people are afraid to communicate what is going on.. because they don't want to deal with the outcome. I have had people shoot some pretty harsh realizations on me.. all of a sudden. Yes.. it would be nice to know things that are going to take me completely off guard.. in doses.. but I do understand that sometimes people have to just blurt it all out. ...this.. a lot of time stems from the fact that there is so much kept inside. Everyone has all of these emotions.. or feelings that they are afraid to share.. maybe because they think it will piss someone off... or maybe because they're just hoping that the conflict they feel inside will work itself out.. or go away... this is nonsense... If there is a problem.. most likely if it does go away, it is only for a short time.. and then it will surface once again.. as bad as ever.. or even worse. Going back to Einstein's quote.. the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. I touched on that in one of my other blogs. Most of the time.. we just are too lazy... or lack the motivation to change things.. so that our results can change.  I am a firm believer that anyone can change any circumstances they wish to change.. if they have the proper motivation.. but most of the time.. that motivation has to come from within.  I have seen a lot of people say that they want things to be different.. that they want to be different, themselves.. well.. if it is worth that much to you.. you will change.  I really am not looking to change.. because I have no motivation to be different.. I am the most okay I've ever been.. and there are very few "lows" in my life.. only because I don't allow myself any "highs"... okay.. so there are times when I feel decently about things.. and I choose to be at a higher point.. I know that nature will balance things out though.. and there are some times when I get a little low.. but nothing seriously bad.  I want this.. I want to be like this.. I have been on the rollercoaster long enough.  People may get upset with me... and say.. you need to be happy.. I'm not going to be "happy"  in the sense of what everyone else thinks is happy.. I am going to be okay. I like "okay". I don't think anyone can put themselves in my stead and know what is going on in my mind.. but I put quite a bit of it out here.  I choose to be the way I am.. because it is the safest I have felt in years. I have my friends.. and they choose to support the way I am... I've already said I don't know if I will ever change.. but if someone is in my life.. expecting me to change.. they don't like me.. they like who they think I could be. I accept people they way they are... and for someone to want to be in my life.. they will need to accept me the way I am.

I keep my mind occupied a lot by facebook games.  I spend way too much time there.. but I don't care. It is something I enjoy for the moment.  The new expansion is coming on World of Warcraft.. Mists of Pandaria.. a few changes.. and hopefully I will be able to get back into playing it more.  I have tried playing it a bit on my own lately.. and I seem to be retaining a bit of the knowledge I have had, although things have changed somewhat with the new patch.  I don't mind learning some of it over again.. but as with most things.. I am learning to adjust.  Life is about adjusting... it keeps changing.. I don't know if I just don't like change.. or maybe I fear change.. Too many times... change happens and  it has a tendency to destroy most of the ideas I have.  That is because I have integrated my ideas in the lives of others.  I am focused on myself.. and what I am doing from day to day.  I have seen so many compromises on the part of others.. only for them to be shot down.. or taken advantage of.. It is really their fault.  If someone lets themselves get taken advantage of.. that person is the only one to blame.  Most of the people I know have lived long enough.. and have been through so much, that they need to evaluate where their life is.. and why it is.. just as I have been evaluating mine. Life's a bitch.. deal with it.