It's All A Part Of Life.

What do we need?  ...really, if you think about it, there's not much we need. But there's always things we want. We tend to interact with others in order to get those things we want.  ...in a sense, we use each other.. I think most people are aware of being used.. and using others.. but it's an unmentioned issue. We use each other as sounding boards.. as companionship.. some use others to feel loved or wanted.. there are so many ways in which we interact with others.. but to some degree it's all about using or being used.  For the most part, I am okay with that.  it's a mutual satisfaction that most people seem to share. The problems seem to start when a person cannot determine to what extent that they want to be used.. or use another. It seems as though most people are afraid of commitments.. or maybe prior commitments take priority.. or maybe it's just fear of commitment altogether.  As we gravitate toward the other people that come into our life, we have to decide to what extent we will allow those people to be a part of our life.  We choose to interact according to the schedule that we set up in our mind.  I don't have a clue where I'm going with this... I am just typing as the words come to my head.   ...in any case, many times,  we can't seem to focus on many constructive things in our life.. because it seems as though there are too many destructive forces trying to destroy those things we deem positive. I've had my share of negative events... and most of the time they tend to negate the positive things that happen prior to being subjected to them. It's not that positive things never happen to me... it's just that I no longer look on things in a positive light for the most part.. it seems I am just waiting for the next event to take place that will give my mind another dose of reality.

I am supposed to go to the doctor tomorrow. I don't have a clue what will happen.. or if anything really will.  I suppose I am just taking everything that happens as a possible catastrophic event just lurking in the shadows... Sometimes I hate the fact that I am so negative about everything.. but I don't have it in me to weather much more in the way of issues that seek to pull me down.. I am not at the site for that reason... I have logged on there a couple of times.. by accident.. but I've now deleted the bookmark I had.. and it shouldn't happen again.  I never even did anything once I clicked the link.. I was just automatically logged in.  I really don't care if people think I was there or not.. I know the truth..  There are any number of truths.. we all seek to be right.. we hope we are right.. I choose the best possible path from myself and figure that's what I need to do.  I don't want to make anyone believe that my path is the right one for them.  I only want to hold to my standards... just as everyone else should hold to theirs.  I am not seeking to change anyone.. nor do I want anyone to try to change me.  It's all about staying with what we know.. and dealing with things as they come.  It's all a part of life.