I Can Only Do That So Many Times.

At first I thought I might not blog this morning... because there is really nothing going through my head that hasn't been said a number of times. It's somewhat asinine that people need to hear the same thing over and over in order to actually absorb what is being said.. I can understand repetition for things that require memorization word for word.. or if something is very technical.. but my life.. and the things I say.. aren't that complicated.  It may appear that way on the surface.. but I'm not a man that has exotic, complex tastes.. yet I've always been told by people.. that they can't be enough for me.. or that I'll need more.. I'm still trying to figure out how that sack of shit still floats.... I mean.. look at my life.. it's not complicated for the most part... basically all I was looking for was.. support... communication.. I've become somewhat independent.. even now to the point that I don't know if I can accept support now if I wanted to.. I've started to deal with all the issues of my life.. inside my head.. by myself.. and I really have a difficult time trusting in anything outside of my head anymore.  It takes years of exposure to the unsupportive network I've built over time.. there are few people in my life now that have any degree of trust whatsoever... I refuse to completely trust anyone.. because of what I've seen.. because of what I've been through.  It may be unfair of me to judge everyone based on what experiences I've had in my past, but each time I've been able to put the past behind me.. and trust in something... I've been shown that trust was misplaced in something that wasn't actually there. I can only do that so many times..