All Will Be Okay.

We all give things power in our lives.. when we devote a significant amount of time... or prioritize things at the top of our list of things to do.. that gives those things power over us.  I don't have a problem prioritizing my daughters in my life.. as I have said they will always be at the top of my list... but I feel sometimes that I do other things and let things I should be doing.. suffer.  Any time I need to get something done.. and I don't.. because I was doing something I wanted to do.. I have shown that I don't have the maturity to handle my time management skills properly.  I never want to put unimportant things in my life as a high priority.. I suppose that's why I have been to very few music concerts.. or don't have a set plan in my life most of the time.  There is nothing of major importance in my life that I need to devote the time and energy to.. except now I need to start studying.. in fact I've done a little bit of that today... I am able to take advantage of some online webinars through the government agency where I work.. some are pretty short.. but others are very long.. well.. I need to figure out what I'm missing from this... and devote the time to it.  So much has changed in my profession since I started teaching some 12 years ago... I tend to let time get by me and not get things done.. but I think we all tend to do that from time to time.. it's when I look at all the unproductive things I do.. that I get irritated with myself... for not having somewhat better priorities... I'm still striving for that balance, but it doesn't seem to be happening very easily.. I suppose that's why it's always said.. the good things in life don't come easy.

I am hearing several rumors about the fate of our center... but nothing has come to light as of yet.. just like the government to either keep everyone in the dark as long as they can.. or maybe they were just incompetent enough not to be able to figure any of it out in the many, many months they've had to work on this.  I sometimes wonder how things actually progress in our nation when I see all of the ignorant decisions being made on a daily basis....or not being made, as the case may be.   I can only hold myself accountable..  and even at that.. I'm not living up to my standards at work.. but I am diligently working on that. I need to get as many students through my program as I can.. before they are caught without the ability to be able to finish it in a timely manner.. August is the deadline for getting A+ certified on the old standards.. after that.. it's a whole different test.. so we will be in development stage for the rest of the time I'm there.. I hope when I leave.. I have it in good enough shape that the next person will be able to walk in and just take over.

It's been a long weekend already.. even though I haven't done anything... it just seems as though I want to become stagnant again.. but I refuse to do that.  I will continue to strive to do something.. even if it is the wrong thing... I'm trying to make informed decisions about my life.. and the things I plan.. but I'm still flying blind in making those choices. I will take my time.. but will look for any opportunity to make a positive change in my life. I'm going to keep a positive outlook even if it kills me to do so... and all will be okay.