It Makes Them Feel Alive.
Today is food commodities day.... I've been active all week doing whatever I need to do.. There has been a lot of rumors still floating around about everything... and nothing is really being said. No decisions have been made.. It seems sad that I have to base decisions on something else happening.... but that's the way life is. Have you ever noticed that life seems to be a chain of events strung together.. and where things might not happen the way we want them to... it does pretty much link.. in a "cause and effect" sort of way.. I guess that's just the way things are meant to be.. It sucks... and not in a good way. I become more and more frustrated with my situation.. with where I am.. and at the moment.. just a few months seems like a lifetime. I sometimes wonder if the concept of time.. somehow plays havoc with our minds... because I know when I'm enjoying something.. it seems like it's over in just a second.. but when I dread things happening... or looking forward to an event... time becomes sooooooooo slow..
I sometimes wonder about maturity... I don't feel much more mature now.. than I did a year ago.. or a year before that... I think that maturity is a myth... an idea to keep people in line and from causing much mischief. I rarely act on anything before I think it out.. then it's my conscience that says.. "is that the mature thing to do?" ...why do I listen to that.. I keep saying to myself.. it's because I don't want to cause more problems for myself in the long run... but look at the problems I've been living with for so long. If I hadn't listened to my conscience years ago.. I would have been divorced after the first year.. after giving it a decent try... but then I would have set a precedent for bailing out when things got a little tough.. I've learned that once you do something once... it's so much easier to do things a second time... that applies in most areas of life.. I still have a standard I set for myself though... and I don't want to lose who I am.. just because I lose sight of those standards. I like who I am.. It's evident that some others don't... but that really doesn't matter anymore.. they can sit in their little worlds.. and wonder why things aren't any better.. when I sit here.. and I know why things aren't better for me.. it's because of decisions I choose to make.. When people can finally realize they have a choice.. and they choose to be miserable.. maybe we'll have a more enlightened planet. I almost think that people are drawn to a bit of drama... that misery is what helps define who they are... and then they can blame things on others... I blogged about excuses once.. and that's exactly what I'm talking about here.. we can all come up with excuses why we behave a certain way.... but when it comes down to the basics... we do what we want.. based on our standards.. if a person is miserable.. it's because part of them enjoys the misery... it makes them feel alive.
I sometimes wonder about maturity... I don't feel much more mature now.. than I did a year ago.. or a year before that... I think that maturity is a myth... an idea to keep people in line and from causing much mischief. I rarely act on anything before I think it out.. then it's my conscience that says.. "is that the mature thing to do?" ...why do I listen to that.. I keep saying to myself.. it's because I don't want to cause more problems for myself in the long run... but look at the problems I've been living with for so long. If I hadn't listened to my conscience years ago.. I would have been divorced after the first year.. after giving it a decent try... but then I would have set a precedent for bailing out when things got a little tough.. I've learned that once you do something once... it's so much easier to do things a second time... that applies in most areas of life.. I still have a standard I set for myself though... and I don't want to lose who I am.. just because I lose sight of those standards. I like who I am.. It's evident that some others don't... but that really doesn't matter anymore.. they can sit in their little worlds.. and wonder why things aren't any better.. when I sit here.. and I know why things aren't better for me.. it's because of decisions I choose to make.. When people can finally realize they have a choice.. and they choose to be miserable.. maybe we'll have a more enlightened planet. I almost think that people are drawn to a bit of drama... that misery is what helps define who they are... and then they can blame things on others... I blogged about excuses once.. and that's exactly what I'm talking about here.. we can all come up with excuses why we behave a certain way.... but when it comes down to the basics... we do what we want.. based on our standards.. if a person is miserable.. it's because part of them enjoys the misery... it makes them feel alive.
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