Not What Others Want Me To Be.

There are many times in our life when we don't listen.. we don't listen to ourselves.. we don't listen to our friends.. we don't listen to the universe as it screams at us not to do something... and we always end up paying the price in the long run.. If we can be completely open.. then we don't allow ourselves to get caught up in things that tear us down. I'm a strong believer in that... the universe has a plan.. and if we will just pay attention.. things go much easier for us.. it's when we balk.. or try to do our own thing.. when we get pummeled by life... or fate.  I have worked hard not to be so closed minded.. but most everything I'm subjected to is a negative thing.. My work.. my home.. my spouse.. my dad.. there is so much negativity around me.. I don't want to let it control me.. sometimes it's very difficult to overcome it.  ...and you know the old saying.. pride goeth before the fall.. well.. it's true.. sometimes we refuse to admit we are wrong... I know I have that problem more than most other people I know.. I have been wrong in letting certain people in my life... and I've been wrong in reacting in certain ways.. .I've been wrong on more occasions than I really thought... until I began looking at myself and my decisions. I will make wrong decisions throughout my life.. and the things that keep me going.. are that there are some right decisions too.. We let the wrong things have too much influence in our lives...  I close myself down because I don't want to hurt.. but I also don't want to be so headstrong in trying to be right.. that I cause myself more grief in the long run.  I had a discussion about how we tend to sometimes fall for the wrong type of person.. but I think that maybe the universe is forgiving in that fact.. and pushes that person out of your life for a reason.  I don't want anyone to think that my outlook is any less cynical.. because there are too many factors in putting two people together.. and most of the time.. it's only going to be what is.. no matter what we do... or say .. or think.. When I got married.. it was like that.. this is a person that I can live with.. when it should have been.. "this is a person I can't live without"  ...if you live your life listening to the universe though... no matter what the outcome of relationships.. things will always work out the way they are supposed to.. instead of the way we try to make them.. The last I checked.. I had no power over the universe.. but only the power in my own world... when I try to take that world away from the universe.. and be independent.. I end up paying the price... as old as I'm getting.. you would think that I would listen more.. and talk less.. but we all like to have our say... speak our peace... and when all of that is said and done... we've no more accomplished anything other than to upset the balance even more...  Where does life lead?... I don't know.. but I'm ready to let the universe shape it in whatever fashion it needs to be.. and I will try to be receptive to who I am.. and not what others want me to be.