It Seems To Be The Norm.

Reality.. is actually that.. reality.. all we can do is choose to see things for what they are.. or try to, anyway.. or live in the fantasy. Fantasies... for the most part.... have an ending... I believe there are a few people who might be able to live most of their lives in the fantasy... but those are far and few between. The reality of my recent situation.. we chose to believe in something.. we wanted to make it a reality.. it was too different for one of us.. and then it was over... I can see where people can get caught up in the passion.. choose not to see things for the way they really are.. and then choose not to believe in it any longer.  For my understanding.. a good relationship takes work and commitment.. something evidently ours wasn't worth.. for her anyway.. So.. the only thing I can take from it was.. she realized that it wasn't enough to sustain itself.. at least in her eyes it wasn't. I can't help that I was totally involved in it.. that I gave everything I have to it.. I know better now.. I know that there is no way of knowing how.. sincere another person is to actually being a part of a relationship.. no matter what they say.. no matter how they say they feel.. it can be bullshit.. That's what most of life is anyway.. just load after load of bullshit.. People do and say what they want to say.. to help themselves through moments.. Maybe I've been guilty of that a few times.. I still have to say I'm glad she let me know.. before what?... commitments were made that we couldn't back out from?  ...again.. that's bullshit.. People get divorced.. she couldn't see our lives together.. simple as that.  Okay.. now I'm back to reality.. and the reality of this situation is that I've learned.. Reality doesn't change.. it's the way it is.. just our perception of the way things are.. changes.. I wanted to believe in something strong.. that there were people in the similar situations as myself.. that could be real.. and open.. Someone that would choose to share strong feelings of love and commitment.. In the past.. I've wanted to believe in that also.. I have tried committing myself to the idea that a relationship might work out.. even though there are obstacles to overcome.. I've been shown.. that at a blink of an eye.. someone's perception of reality can always change.. and then the whole thing is gone. I would like to say that things change.. and to a slight point.. they do change.. but I am still who I was.. she is still who she was.. same way with each failed relationship before.. Each person decided that everything was different. based on.. what?  The circumstances sometimes change a bit.. but I never changed my feeling.. my commitment.. so.. it can't be based on me..  or maybe it is.. maybe there is something about me.. that people discover.. and decide that they can't deal with. I am not going to change the basics of who I am.. so it's best I suppose that someone walk away once they've decided that I'm not worth the effort. It seem to be the norm.