They say time is the best healer

I did a lot of thinking yesterday... maybe too much... Yes... I'm hurt.. but there's no reason for me to take it out on anyone. I've been hurt before... just in a different capacity. I said a few things that might be considered as cruel.. but anything I've said.. I have the statements logged to support it. I suppose there are any number of ways in which we can interpret what people say... and right now.. I am trying to use logic to interpret the words I hear. I know I've made some people upset.. and for a short period of time.. I thought about just posting everything here... all the conversation... just to show all I've said is true. ...but that isn't what this is about.. and all that would do.. is be antagonistic and cause more hard feelings for everyone. I am needing to back away a bit... not for anyone else.. but for me.. I had been wrestling with that for weeks now.. I still don't know why I hung around for as long as I did. I am not.. running away.. I'm just realizing that I am just another face in a crowd of people who have lied.. and cheated in some sense or another... and then I get this "holier than thou" attitude about how honest and trustworthy I am.  That's not the case at all.. If I choose to live a certain way, I have to be ready for the repercussions that follow. I am keeping myself occupied. People who want can still get in touch with me.. and I will occasionally check my messages.. but I'm not going to turn the site into a he said... she said battleground... I really don't even feel like fighting. I know where I stand.. and nothing I say or do will get back the trust both she lost for me.. and I lost for her. I really don't need anyone... People who choose to stay in my life.. are more than welcome to stay... those that don't.. are welcome to leave. I suppose I did hollow out my life and push most people away already... I will deal with that also... Nothing that has happened to me.. is the fault of anyone else by my own. I have to take full responsibility for my own actions. I am told certain things.. and I react a certain way... and not always in the most appropriate method. I will find my way back to being me.. but for right now.. I just need a little time to heal.  I can't believe in anything or anyone at the moment.. because I don't have that capability anymore..  They say time is the best healer..

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