It's the only way I know.

Have you ever noticed that almost everyone has a way of looking at things.. that is based on their perception of a situation. Most often, the truth lies somewhere in between opposing viewpoints. People on either side of any conflict tend to gravitate toward what they want to believe. We lose all logical thought in those instances.. no matter how logical we say our thinking is.  Many times, most conflicts are a result of a misinterpretation... or miscommunication. The human side of us wants to believe we are always justified in the way we act.. and I realize that isn't quite always correct. I make my share of mistakes as well as the next person. The best I can do at the moment is to not add to that. I appreciate the things I've learned over the last few years...  I can actually say that I've learned a lot about the actions and perceptions of people.. but I seemed to have had a sharper learning curve with the online world than I have ever been subjected to in the real world.  I suppose this is because we all have things online that we can hide behind... be a bit of people we aren't really. I think that no matter how we look at things from this perspective.. we are all living in somewhat of a fantasy world. Even here.. things are not completely real.. but maybe an altered reality. It takes a lot to involve ourselves to the point where we can actually mesh the real world and the online persona we portray. I suppose in a way, I have been looking to become someone I'm actually not, as well. I'm not a verbal.. quick witted person that sometimes appear in my post. I cannot always be as outgoing as I seem to be to my friends.  I have the comfort of being able to log off and not risk much of myself.  I have always kept myself in my "tower" to a certain extent... as do each of us. On just a few occasions.. someone comes along and pulls herself up to my tower.. where I share more than I do with anyone else. I let that person get to know me.. and in doing so.. I expose myself completely.... then I fall.. not once.. or twice.. but at least 3 times now.. falling to the point that I get up.. and build my tower even higher... but.. I'm not worried about building that tower back now.. there's no point.  I will let anyone see whatever they want to see.. because I'm not worried about bringing anyone online into my real world.   I don't feel that anyone will ever see things quite the way I do.. and I think that even when you get to know someone.. they still hide a part of themselves... and you'll truly never know them.  I work on trying to open up.. and show who I am.. because that IS who I am.. I don't care who knows what now.. it makes no difference... if someone knows something about me.. then tell it to whomever you want... I really don't care... I don't want any more secrets..  I am only here.. so I can get my thoughts and ideas down.. but for the most part.. I don't have any real world friends.. I don't interact because there is no one around me. I'll choose to be this way and just let those who want to be a part of my life... exist here.. for as long as they want to... I had someone tell me once.. everyone leaves.. and I think that might still be true.. but.. for the moment I will continue as I have.. keep my walls up.. and deal with things as they arise... it's the only way I know