I'll Remain Optimistic.

So.. I get to work... there's already 3 people there... they don't need me... but then I have to ask the duty officer... and she calls the department manager... who it ends up told me wrong.. but I get to stay a few hours anyway... I don't know why they would really give me overtime if it wasn't needed... I get paid more for my overtime than just about anyone else on the center... I'm not a manager..  so I hang out a bit... do a little driving.. then come home... just as well.. I can get a bit of laundry done... and just a tad of cleaning. and I got to post and watch movies... and eat 5 Guys burgers and fries... I know... I shouldn't.. but it was soooo freakin' good. ...and I've been in a good mood all day for it.. All and all it's been a pretty good day. I don't want an exceptional life. I don't want to be rich... or famous.. I just want to live my day to day and seek happiness for that day.  I kinda think that we all want that at heart... we just can't figure out exactly how to get that. So it's a daily quest... we get up.. and think how can I avoid the bad.. and seek out the good. If we have more good days than bad days... I feel like that's successful. It's not as difficult as it sounds... what really sucks is when we get the superbad days and it takes so much to balance them out. There's so many things I look to now just to get a slightly positive adjustment to my day... and even a kind word to someone... lifting their day up... usually puts a lift in mine as well. I don't worry about too much of the major stuff anymore... if it happens, so much the better, but I remember in a recent blog talking about faith in ourselves... I do have faith that I can learn from my mistakes.. but it's still difficult to not put myself in a position to make those mistakes. I am not even talking about relationships... or trusting.. or anything like that... I don't want all my blogs to come back to the same small circle of things... The most difficult thing I've done lately to affect a positive change is to try to buy this house... if I don't get it... yeah... that'll be a major suck storm... and will take a whole lot of positive to counter that. For now, I'll remain optimistic.

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