It's Not Working.

The start of another week... and I will have to say that I'm still a bit on an emotional roller coaster.  I really haven't taken much time to rest my brain... and the house, my job, my life are all still major players in keeping me a bit unstable. I hang on to the sanity I have and hope that things happen soon. I'm afraid to make any more changes at the moment because of how everything is so unstable at the moment.. and then I hear the organization is cutting back 25%.  I'm not sure if that will affect me yet, but it's still something I'm concerned about. I spent last evening bantering back and forth in a way I haven't for awhile... I do know one thing... I can get caught up in a moment... but I am able to ground myself much better after a brief rest. There are many people I interact with that I feel are actually good people, but there's only a select few that I can get these little voices inside my head saying "what if?"  ...but then I know where I am... and what's going on in my life... still it's a better social life than I have had in a very long time.  I am always concerned that I am going to make more out of things than they really are.  Or maybe I'll read something that isn't there... because I don't trust myself to spot bullshit anymore.. online.. or offline. I am using this as a reminder of what happens when I believe what I'm told and I can appreciate where I am because of it.  Yeah.. this blog is a bit cryptic... I'm not even sure I know what I'm trying to say at the moment, because my brain is currently a muddled mess. I might need to think a bit longer about what's going on in there. I thought blogging might help to bring it out, but it's not working.