I Will Lay It All Out There.

Here it is.. almost 1 am.. and I can't seem to sleep... I think I slept too much yesterday... I tried to play WoW... but I'm not in the mood to do that either... I'm just not sure what I want to do at the moment.. and nothing sounds appealing. I can't really go anywhere... or do anything... and I don't feel like doing anything online either... so... I blogged... I have a feeling that there will be several blogs in the next few days... I don't know how many yet.. and most may be as pointless as this one.... I will just keep the drugs coming and the words flowing... and all will be right with the world again as soon as I get over this.  I don't have a check up until Friday of next week... but I plan on going back to work on Monday... it should be okay by then... I can feel it's about time for more pain medications... I can't seem to really focus on a whole lot when my penis starts hurting... it's not quite so severe.... but I can still tell that the discomfort is there... and that's with me being very careful.

I can also tell my mood is somewhat shorter than it generally is.. I've lashed out today...or sorta lashed out... for me anyway.... I am on a short fuse... and right now.... I  am able to walk away when I feel myself wanting to say things out of control... for the most part anyway... and who knows... everything I'm feeling might just be things I keep hidden inside... if that's the case... I really shouldn't be around anyone very much.... because I feel much less tolerant for anything... most of it seems to come across as bullshit... and I have a little difficulty distinguishing between what is real... and what I feel... all I can say is if people are going to hang around me this week... it's best to give me a wide path... otherwise I will slam dunk someone with something I know I shouldn't say... and at the moment.. I don't know who that might be.. or what I might say...   I just know that I don't have any patience at the moment.... if someone wants a completely blunt answer on anything... no horseshit at all... just ask me something in this state... just be prepared to deal with it... I always try to be honest... but maybe practicing a little restraint in how I put things... but I can feel me not giving a rat's ass how I come across right now...I'm not in a compromising mood... and I will lay it all out there.

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