I Won't Let Things Change.

I know that at times.. we all think about doing really stupid stuff.. I wonder what exactly it is that keeps us in check.. some would say that our experiences will remind us of what some of the consequences are.. but what if there were no consequences.. would we just go out and do whatever strikes our fancy whenever we want?  I think there are many elements that we have to consider.. yes.. the resulting outcome would be a major one.. but we are all instilled with some form of ethics that keeps us from doing things that might be harmful to others.. even as far as feelings go.. but there are times when we forget about that.. or the temptation to do things are greater than our basic code of morals. We have to consider sometimes what exactly our morals are.. I like to think that I am a person of higher morals.. but I have cheated on my spouse.  I justify it by my situation that I was put in.. but part of the responsibility of that is mine in itself. So we can pretend that we are these wonderful people with a better-than-thou attitude, but when it comes down to it.. we all do things that others would consider unethical. The main idea here is that you have to hold to your standards.. and if you are doing something that you have to hide... then it's wrong.. I'm not talking about keeping someone's personal information a secret.. but if you are sitting on.. or doing things that you feel the need to keep hidden from certain people.. because you don't know how you could explain it to them.. then it's obvious there is a problem there... I will be the first to admit that I have done wrong.. but I am okay with not being a completely moral person.  I won't even say that I am..   I just do what I feel like doing and try to behave in such a way that I don't mind answering for it if it comes to light.  But what about all the other people out there.. I cannot answer for them.. nor would I want to.  I think that each individual will come out with an attitude of how they are so much better than certain people.. because they have come up with better excuses for their behavior.  You will notice I didn't say reasons.. Everyone has an excuse for things they do that are wrong.. it doesn't make it more right... it just helps people to live with their actions. ...it seems that very few people can really see when they're in the wrong.... I am certain I'm the same way at times... that's what makes us "snobbish"  ...thinking we are better than others just because we are better at hiding what we do. It doesn't matter how "good" we think we are...  "Good" is just a matter of opinion.  I don't plan on changing my outlook.. but I've changed my behavior.. not because I felt guilty.. but because I don't trust in what people say anymore.. I think that people can lie to themselves to make everything okay.. so they can deal with things.. but then sometimes they don't realize they're lying to themselves AND to the others around them. I've learned long ago that even the most sincere people can be misleading.  It's for that reason that my trust is something I don't know if I will ever give again.  I'm seriously doubting it.. It's not a matter of my behavior.. nor anyone else's.. that's just how things are.. I have adjusted to how things are.. and whether they are like what I expected or not.. doesn't matter.  And people can say all they want that I will grow out of this phase.. or that things will change.. no.. I am good where I am.. maybe I'm a coward and am afraid I will go through the pain I once went through.. but that pain.. I will remember the rest of my life... and I won't let things change.