I Wish My Heart Was Like That.
One "heckuva" week.. I'm a bit tired of doing so much crap at work... and not getting anything extra for it. I guess I should be grateful that I even have a job.... and that's part of what gets me through the weeks that I have to cover for so many people. ...another part is the realization that it won't be long now before the center isn't there.. and I will be enjoying just a bit of freedom. I have to admit that moving away does bring up a little anxiety.. especially since I don't know how things are going to work out one.... but the fact remains that I do have faith in God to lead me through it. I don't talk very much about my belief... but I have a very strong belief.. even if it isn't what I was brought up with. I've given myself credit for getting through a lot of what I have come through... when in fact... a lot of it is my faith in God that helps me more than anything. I don't go to church very often... but that doesn't mean that I don't try to take a few moments out every once in awhile to put out a little prayer. I just need to hold to what I have... and build on it.
It is quickly approaching Easter.. this Sunday. I will be going to my sister's house.. but I think I mentioned that before... I sorta dread spending time over there with my spouse... but I think the only part I'll have to endure is the ride in the car.. there and back. I can slip away from her during other times. I know that I'll miss my mom.. and that is another issue I'll have to deal with. Dad is just something that I tolerate.. because I know that he might not have a whole lot longer..
So.. it's Friday... and I might just make it. I look at it that way sometimes.. and other times it's ..
just so I can do it all over again next week. My horoscope says that I should look for gray areas this weekend... and understand that they exist... I suppose they do exist.. because of the difference in interpretation between two people. What might be okay for one person.. might not be for another.. but that's because of their belief. I cannot say that I am right in my actions all the time.. but I do what is best for me.. and that's all I can do. I try not to make any major decisions in my life right now because there is so much conflict and many things are undecided. This limbo crap does get to me sometimes.. but I will tolerate it.
My surgical issues are pretty much over.. I was dealing with a major irritation there.. because of the 23 stitches.. luckily they were dissolvable.. let's just say that it felt like someone had their hands in my pants playing around.. and at first.. it was definitely something that I thought I could get used to.. but after a week solid.. I was just wanting to rip the stitches out to try to get rid of the sensation. I am all better now though.. and the last of the stitches fell off. I feel almost back to normal.. which is surprising.. since it's not been 3 weeks yet.. I figured on 4 - 6 weeks of recoop time. ...but I tend to get over a lot of things rapidly.. I guess I'm just a quick healer.. I wish my heart was like that.
It is quickly approaching Easter.. this Sunday. I will be going to my sister's house.. but I think I mentioned that before... I sorta dread spending time over there with my spouse... but I think the only part I'll have to endure is the ride in the car.. there and back. I can slip away from her during other times. I know that I'll miss my mom.. and that is another issue I'll have to deal with. Dad is just something that I tolerate.. because I know that he might not have a whole lot longer..
So.. it's Friday... and I might just make it. I look at it that way sometimes.. and other times it's ..
just so I can do it all over again next week. My horoscope says that I should look for gray areas this weekend... and understand that they exist... I suppose they do exist.. because of the difference in interpretation between two people. What might be okay for one person.. might not be for another.. but that's because of their belief. I cannot say that I am right in my actions all the time.. but I do what is best for me.. and that's all I can do. I try not to make any major decisions in my life right now because there is so much conflict and many things are undecided. This limbo crap does get to me sometimes.. but I will tolerate it.
My surgical issues are pretty much over.. I was dealing with a major irritation there.. because of the 23 stitches.. luckily they were dissolvable.. let's just say that it felt like someone had their hands in my pants playing around.. and at first.. it was definitely something that I thought I could get used to.. but after a week solid.. I was just wanting to rip the stitches out to try to get rid of the sensation. I am all better now though.. and the last of the stitches fell off. I feel almost back to normal.. which is surprising.. since it's not been 3 weeks yet.. I figured on 4 - 6 weeks of recoop time. ...but I tend to get over a lot of things rapidly.. I guess I'm just a quick healer.. I wish my heart was like that.
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