I have nothing to hide.

Expectations... we all have them... I expect to get up each morning.. drag through my day.. and come home and go to bed... no matter how I spend the time in between, it's best not to expect much more in my life.. Other people will expect certain things to happen.... events to take place.. people to interact with them.. whatever the case may be.. the fact is.. it's better not to set your expectations too high.. then you don't get disappointed.. I had someone recently invite me to be a part of their life.. and this person has blatantly lied to me in the past... I rejected this person completely... I don't really even feel a need to explain myself to her..  At first I felt torn.. I hate to deliberately hurt someone's feelings.. no matter what they've done, but then I realized.. I have control over my own life.. and I'm not going to allow someone near me that I have complete mistrust in.  I don't wish her any ill will.. I just don't want her being a part of my life at all..  I'm certain that's going to set off some feelings of irritation.. or even possible anger toward me.. but c'est la vie.. I am up later this morning.. because my work day isn't quite as long today.. only 8 hours.. that will pass fairly quickly, I'm guessing.. see.. that's an expectation.. I expect the day to pass quickly.. so I am certain we have many more expectations throughout the day than I first realized... I have grown to have expectations about relationships also.. whether it be romantic in nature.. or just friends.. those relationships have a cycle.. and will eventually end.  Maybe I even play a major instrumental role in that... I suppose that over a period of time.. people will get tired of my bluntness and come to expect different things from me... I can't do that.. I see every day.. people pretending to be someone their not.. and even though I might come across that way to a few.. I work diligently to keep that from happening... once I compromise myself and start letting other people tell me how to act.. what to feel.. or who to be.. I'm losing a part of myself... I'm the way I am.. people keep thinking they are going to dig down into further layers and find someone else.. well.. dig away.. when you get to the rock bottom of the well. and all you see is the same thing.. you can't say I didn't warn you.  Some may have expectations of a different person inside.. but I use this blog to show what is going on inside.. and I invite anyone here to view it.. I have nothing to hide.