Comfortable in my own skin.

We continue to move forward with our lives... we try not to have expectations of our future.. because we know that will only lead to disappointment... but I have these... feelings.. that things are going to change... but I don't know in what direction... I have pushed a lot of friends out of my life  recently.  I can't choose who will choose to stay a part of my life.. but I don't see me changing my outlook on the way I view people. I think we all use people.. to feel better about ourselves.. for information.. even for support... and some of those uses are constructive... I want to there for my friends.. but I don't ever want to feel like I'm a placeholder.. a substitute for someone that is no longer in their life.. and then I just feel a void that is left over.. anyone can do that.. or anyone that will return the sentiment shown.. ...I am a firm believer that people have to be comfortable with themselves.. before they be in a constructive relationship.. I'm ok with me.. I don't look for someone to be that person to fill the hole in my heart.. IF I move forward.. it's because I want to spend time with someone.. and I feel that person has no expectations from me.. and in turn.. I have none from them.. I am a firm believer in letting things just happen.. I have spent a lot of time.. pushing people away.. and I am breaking my own belief.. I should just let things happen.. but.. in the same sense.. when I tried that before.. then it led to people pushing boundaries I didn't feel ready to have pushed.. I will live my life.. as I see fit.. interact with who I feel comfortable interacting with.. and continue to be who I am.. I don't know where that will lead... those people who can't accept that... can go wherever they choose to be.. I really don't care.. I am going to try to enjoy being comfortable in my own skin...