I need it to be a strong one.

Yesterday was very difficult for me.. Mom loved Easter.. and now.. it was so... empty without her. I know it'll get hard around the other holidays too.. but.. I'll make it through them also. So.. I've been thinking.. and contemplating various ideas in my head.. I still can't figure out who tells me the truth anymore.. not completely anyway.  I think people say what they want you to hear... for the most part... I try not to think that way of everyone.. but I'm finding more and more people in my life seem to do that. I am wanting to be independent.. and I think I have established to myself.. that I can be.. I could never invite someone to share my life with me if I thought they were emotionally dependent.  Too many times, people will require someone... just anyone.. to be with them.. in order to complete themselves... I'm already complete.. I don't need that in my life.. nor do I need to complete someone else.  Yes.. I still am very damaged.. I still feel that I put my trust into someone that I thought I would be enough for.. I suppose she will never find someone who is "enough"... but I wish her well in her search.  I think that people are cyclic in their feelings sometimes.... I also believe that most people aren't even aware of what they truly want.. they are drawn to what makes them feel good.. safe.. People can't live for themselves anymore without fear.  I don't want to be like that... I need emotional stability in my life... I have enough instability as is.. not to want to add more.  I choose my path... I need it to be a strong one.

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