Everyone faces their own demons

Easter weekend.. end of Lent.. I'll be back on facebook soon.. as soon as I find the time, anyway... I am working on updating the software on my daughters iPods they got for Easter... I am taking just a few minutes out for blogging... I think the longer I am online.. the more conflicted I become... because I still feel that so many people out there.. are untruthful.. even myself.. I'm untruthful to myself at times.. it happens.. I think that it is human instinct to lie to say what they want to believe.. or want others to believe.. sometimes without even knowing it... it's why we run into so many conflicts. Finding someone completely open.. is a rarity.. and even if you do... you never truly know if they are being honest with themselves.  Sometimes it takes thought and reflection on one's life to figure out what they truly want... most people have never even figured that out yet... if someone wants something.. then why don't they go ahead and choose it.. so many factors involve us in making the wrong choices.. people are worried they'll make the wrong choice.. fear is a big motivator in this.. it's because of fear that we hesitate many times.. I hate being afraid.. but I am... I'm afraid that my daughters will suffer if I leave.. more than just a bit.. I'm afraid that I will lose out on my good job if I move away... I'm afraid that the choices I make.. will lead to more issues down the road... I'm continuing my journey.. day by day.. and making only choices that I feel confident in... I do feel I am growing.. but I let fear dictate my life.. my actions.. and sometimes my thoughts.. I choose to be.. who I am.. I can't stop myself from having a different outlook.. nor can I force myself to look at things the way I don't believe. I have some people in my life.. that support me.. and tear me down at the same time. ...I have to take what I need to take.. I need to continue to work on my life.. moment by moment.. Do I lie?... yes.. I suppose I do.. what I say.. what I do.. is a reflection of what I feel.. and what I think at that moment.. does that change??... of course it does.. we change daily... sometimes we change from moment to moment.. life is about change.. life is about making choices and dealing with the outcome of those choices... I remain conflicted about several things.. but the best I can do.. is follow what I feel to do at the moment.. those that choose to support that.. will be here.. continuing to be an active part of my life.. those that don't.. have two choices.. they can accept what choices I make.. and support it.. or they can oppose my viewpoint and bring more conflict.. Conflict isn't always bad... it's what helps us to work out the struggle we face on a day to day basis... Everyone faces their own demons.

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