I am moderately happy.

Yesterday was Friday the 13th.. nothing extraordinarily unlucky happened.. but.. I am still recovering from a whirlwind of a week.  There is a lot expected at work now.. and maybe it'll all get done.. but.. if it doesn't.. it won't be because of me.  I am glad to see people in my life who now support me.. but for the most part.. there are others that go and talk about me behind my back... I had a discussion with a former friend awhile back.. about whether or not.. if someone says something about you.. would you want to know.. she maintains that it is just starting drama and said she'd never want to know.. so.. I leave her alone.. she doesn't want me in her life anymore anyway.  I don't really hold anything against her other than the fact that she lives with her own version of the truth.. when I have conversations that say things completely different than she sees them. I won't go stir up any more drama by dwelling on those.. but I am sad that she has something now.. that is on it's way out... due to her inability to be truthful.  I think a lot of people have a tendency to pull something out of a hat to support what they want to believe to be the truth... and if something doesn't make sense to them.. it's a lie.. It doesn't work that way... Things are the way they are.. and no amount of sugar coating.... or avoidance.. is going to change that.  My philosophy is that it's best to deal with things as they come up.. unfortunately.. many people like to practice avoidance, and just hope that it never comes up again... most of the time.. this will be severely worse after it lies dormant for awhile.  I was under a lot frustration for the last little bit... a lot of conflict.. from people.. and from myself... I didn't want to believe in myself.. and now I am glad that I have. I am not certain what all will happen in the future.. but I am still open to possibilities and welcoming change. I am finally dealing with what is in myself.. and what others want me to do... and I am moderately happy.

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