The future... will work itself out.

I woke up this morning... with the knowledge that today.. I was going to let myself believe... Am I going to be like I used to be?... no.. that person is dead... destroyed... I don't ever want to be that person again, anyway... I want to continue to grow.. to advance forward in my life.  I will take the experiences I've had... both positive and negative... and build on those... Hopefully I will be able to avoid reliving some of the past mistakes I've made. I have introduced someone into my life that I feel will be very good for me. Someone who doesn't require anything from me.. she is independent... but still wants me to be a part of her life. I will share what I can and hopefully develop a relationship that will continue to flourish.  I know that I need to be open.. and honest.. and let things go from there. I was told recently about how I was a liar.. that I have said things that were untrue.. and I feel very sorry for the person that believes that. It did bother me to think that someone felt that way... knowing me the way they do... but I've come to terms with the fact.. that some people will just never be able to be honest with themselves... or anyone else. Those people are not invited back into my life.. Maybe someday, they can see past their own insecurities.. and be someone that doesn't need constant reassurance and attention. I've had my own difficulties with insecurities... but I am choosing to work on that.  It IS as simple as that.. we all choose what we want to believe. I won't build a relationship based on lies and deceit.... because sooner or later.. no matter how we want it to last.. it won't. I continue to think that some people are even disillusioned to the point that they are lying to themselves... and I hope they don't have too hard of a crash. ...but even with it all that is the direction they are headed... I won't perpetuate any more lies.. even for friends... I will hold on to the positive things in my life.. and follow through with my optimistic outlook. I don't know where that will lead me.. I can't see how my life will unfold.. and I don't choose to try to unfold it... The future.. will work itself out..

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