Anywhere Is Better Than Here.

Okay.. so things look like they're finally going to happen... or at least get started happening.. My center director was on a conference call today concerning center closings... and the list will be out in about 30 days.. the national office will be publishing a list of criteria and procedures for closing the centers they deem necessary to close. I am all but certain that our center will be one closing.  I have two choices... ride it out.. and let them place me somewhere... or look for something myself.. and try to get a decent choice.  I figure if I do that.. I might end up being an instructor for the prison system somewhere.. which isn't altogether a horrible job.. but I think I could find something better I'd prefer to do. I found out today.. that my evaluation that was given by my former supervisor.. was cut down.. not because of MY performance.. but because the center is failing.. and my director's boss's boss said.. no one at our center will receive an outstanding evaluation. She doesn't have a clue on what I do.. and there should be no reason for her to decide how much of an effort I make. I have a two page list of things I've done over the past two years above and beyond the scope of my normal duties... I am more upset that I have been knocked down into a category that I feel I don't belong.. of people that do just what they need to do to get by.. and that's it.  I have a very strong work ethic..  ...of course it would be much easier to explain shutting down a center where no one is doing an outstanding job.  To me.. it's just writing on the wall that the center is soon closing... we'll see though.

I will spend time this weekend looking for my daughters' Christmas presents.. I figure there is no use waiting until the last minute.. I don't want to be lazy about it.. but I am going to get them some things.. then give them a $100 visa gift card.. I remember at that age.. I would have thought that to be the greatest present.. it's like.. look at me.. I have a credit card I can use.. I'm all grown up now..  I figure that's probably the best thing to do.. even if it is the easiest also.. I always hope that Christmas won't be too disappointing for my daughters.. I try my best.. and I just want them to know that I do care... sometimes I don't feel like I spend enough time with them.. but at times.. I am just afraid they'll grow too attached to me.. and it will make the inevitable much more difficult.  That is another thing that my work situation is going to screw up... and I was afraid it would happen.. I don't know how long it will take for everything to work it's way to a resolution with my employment situation.. so I can't exactly move out now.. just to move again in a few months... well.. I could.. but I'm not completely dense. That would be a stupid move on my part... so.. I sit.. and wait.. for things to resolve.... so I can plan on moving.. and where I can move... my family is still going to stay here.. and things will eventually resolve themselves.. maybe that's the easy way out.. letting my situation handle my separation.. but hey.. it works...  I am very optimistic about it all really... in a pessimistic way.. I'm gonna lose my job.. and have to start all over again somewhere... but .. anywhere is better than here.