I Am Happy With Me.

I'm somewhat amazed at the rate my weight is coming off... I  am now at 191 pounds.. that's 21 pounds in less than a week... and I feel really good. I am taking vitamins and am eating some... just not a lot.  I am looking into a few videos I obtained called Extreme workout videos... I am not certain if I have the stamina for that yet.. but I'm thinking more along the lines of toning my midsection.  I do like how I'm feeling though.  I know some will say that it's not healthy for me to lose weight that quickly.. but I think my body's metabolism is actually pretty decent.. I just stopped overindulging.. and eating for the sake of eating.. I still eat.. and don't starve myself.. but I don't eat just because there is nothing else to do... or just because something sounds good to eat.  maybe I skip a meal here and there.. and I'm not doing anything radical... I did find some TrimFit water which is mainly a fiber water... it helps you to feel full.. but I'm thinking a little exercise won't hurt me either... I think I'll start with situps... maybe I can finish the year up with the resolution I started at the first of the year.  I won't make a New Year's resolution in 2013... I never end up keeping them and it just becomes frustrating.  I think I am becoming much healthier physically.. mentally.. emotionally.  I would like to find a good balance.. studying some.. eating healthier.. but occasionally indulging in something not very practical.. but no more binge eating just because I can.  I still don't plan on relationships.. for me.. I don't think they're healthy.. and they cause me to doubt myself.  I always tried to put someone else first in a relationship.. trying to indulge everything I thought they would want.. and that was completely wrong.  I like where I am now.. and who I am.. and I have a much brighter outlook on being alone.  When you turn on the TV.. or watch a movie.. it seems that society has pushed the media into depicting someone being healthy if they are in a loving relationship.  You see it everywhere.. but it doesn't have to be that way.  Be happy for who you are.. and don't just say it.. believe it.  Most people have trouble saying what they really want to say.. or trying to make themselves believe something just because they say it.  I have done that a few times, myself.  I have blogged many times about how people fool themselves into believing a lie. I've been on a quest.. to find out what I really want.. what is really happening in my life.. and I am getting there... but it's not about the destination... it's the journey.  I have a relationship with myself.  I like me and no one is getting in the way of that.  I had a conversation with a friend who went to see a movie alone... The premise of the discussion was that it wasn't natural to go to the movies alone.. so just don't go.... But think about it.. how many times do you go out and just notice who is a couple.. and who is alone.  I never do.. or rarely ever... and even when I do.. it is usually because they've done something out of the ordinary to draw attention to themselves.  There is no reason to be ashamed in who you are.. I enjoy my own company... I am satisfied with who I am.. I know I repeat this time and again... but I can't believe how foolish I was to think I could trust someone else.  I don't care how trustworthy a person is.. or how much  they say they want me to trust them... I don't.. I have been through wayyyyy too much to change my thought on that .. even if I wanted to.  I don't mean to be digging on anyone... but that's who I am now.. if you feel you are trustworthy.. great... you don't need my approval... because if you do.. first... you won't get it... secondly.. you shouldn't need to define yourself by anyone else's standards.  Once you start doing that.. you've lost yourself..  I have lost myself a few times along the way.. but now.. I am in a much better place.  I don't need to be in a relationship with anyone else... I trust me.. I know me.. and I am happy with me.