I Walk My Own Path.

I've realized that even though we can't change the past... we should respect the lessons we've learned from it.. after all.. people study history in order to try to figure out what the historical outcomes were from all the past actions taken.  I will always have reminders of my past that will take sharp stabs at me when I'm not prepared for it.. but I need to learn to shake it off.  That doesn't mean I want constant reminders.. the problem stems when there are so many reminders.. it is difficult to do much without thinking about things that are no more.  ...so do I hide my head under the covers.. and lock myself in my room to avoid all the mementos of failed endeavors.  I won't live like that.. and I couldn't feel comfortable with myself if I ran and hid from life.  I am in a place where I feel safe enough... and I know that my lessons were learned too well. I am strong enough to be happy with myself..and not need anyone else.  ...nor do I want anyone else in my life.  ...not as more than a friend.  I find that too many people are going to spend their life looking for things that don't exist.... a soulmate?   ....All I can say is good luck with that.  I am under constant reminders that I am much better off not searching for anything like that.. and if it happens to find me.. I hope there is someone else out there.. because I won't give it a chance.. no matter how it happens to sound.  Right now.. I'm not even worried about hurting anyone else's feelings... because I've been up front and honest about my thoughts on the subject for a long time now.. So.. I've pieced together what remains of my heart.. and my soul.. and I am keeping them for myself.  No one gets what I once gave freely... because I am not letting it go anymore.  I will remain selfish and keep my ideology on track.  Many people are no longer in my life.. probably because I pushed them out when they chose a different path. I walk my own path.