That Will Be It.
I filed a grievance with my union yesterday... because of what I feel is an unfair evaluation. I was told that the reason my evaluation was bumped down from an outstanding rating.. was that our center was doing so poorly that no one was justified getting that high of a rating. I don't think I should be rated on the center as a whole. And there is no way that someone who has only met me a few times in the last 5 years can determine how effectively I work. The union officials seem to think I have a good case.. I actually said that if they can find 2 people on the center that don't think I deserve an outstanding.. I'd settle for the lower rating. No one wants to take that challenge. If I didn't deserve an outstanding.. then I don't think I'm capable of it... as I can't do much better than what I have over the last year. I've channeled much of my frustrations into my work.. and believe me.. I've had lots of frustrations to fuel my drive.
I have started looking for another job.. and I'll need that outstanding review if I want to be put ahead of the pack. I am hoping that I am able to find something soon. I just can't seem to figure out what I want to do... if I want to keep teaching.. or if I want to move back into the technical support field. I should be qualified for either.. but teaching is much more rewarding.. provided it is instructions similar to what I've been doing. I am thinking if the center is shut down.. some of the opportunities afforded to us will be teaching in the federal prison system... and I'm not sure that I would like that. In any case.. I am trying to prepare for the worst.. but will accept whatever happens... and adjust accordingly... as I always do.
I was so tired last night.. and I don't really know why. I crashed at 8:30 pm and slept for a whole 8 hours.. normally I'll be up a couple of times throughout the night... but not last night. I suppose that's my body saying that I've been pushing myself too hard lately.... or maybe I am just a bit stressed out and needed to unwind a bit. I am a little concerned lately about a few things... monetary situation being one of them.. if I can make it another month.. we should be okay.. but at the moment.. I'm having to prioritize what is needed and what is not.. with just a few things being splurged on.. My daughters will have a decent Christmas.. and that means a lot to me. I am beginning to think my spouse will never look for a job.. and at this point.. I'm going to be spending enough time searching for myself, that I won't have much time to look for one for her. It is storming outside now.. and afterwards there should be a colder change in the weather.. I sort of like winter.. it reminds me so much of my life lately. Yes... I get a bit down about things... but I still am feeling much better about my current state than I have been in the last year or so.. I woke up this morning listening to the wind and rain... the thunder... and watching the flash of lightning.. I love storms... so much so that I wouldn't mind living where there were storms.. or at least rain.. every other day.. only I'm not so fond of the colder temperatures. I don't have any reason to go out, anyway...
My dad still calls as much as ever.. if possible.. I think he could be getting a little worse.. his calls start now about 30 minutes before I get off work.. and at times he calls me 25 - 30 times before I get free.. even though I have told him that I would call him every day when I got free.. I have decided to stop that.. he doesn't listen anyway.. and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't know how bad it's going to get.. but I am ready for the worst.. and if it gets too bad, maybe I will enlist the aid of my sisters. One of my sisters had a birthday yesterday... my spouse and grandmother the day before.. and my daughter has one today... my mom's birthday would have been today also. I miss her so much sometimes. It is still hard not to cry when thinking about her... and most times I end up shedding a tear or two.. But life does go on.. and we have to deal with it. I think maybe that might be part of Dad's problem.. having to deal with it being Mom's birthday... we'll see if it slacks up after awhile...
I am still playing my World of Warcraft.. I will have a whole week next week where I am taking off because I don't want my compensatory time to turn into overtime. My center doesn't like it when that happens. I really don't care what they like and don't like anymore.. as my loyalty is not as strong as it once was. I will do what I'm able.. and keep plugging away at my job.. but as far as all these things that are not considered a part of my duties.. I DO know if I don't get the evaluation I deserve.. I am not going above and beyond the scope of my job anymore.. I'll do my job superbly.. and that will be it.
I have started looking for another job.. and I'll need that outstanding review if I want to be put ahead of the pack. I am hoping that I am able to find something soon. I just can't seem to figure out what I want to do... if I want to keep teaching.. or if I want to move back into the technical support field. I should be qualified for either.. but teaching is much more rewarding.. provided it is instructions similar to what I've been doing. I am thinking if the center is shut down.. some of the opportunities afforded to us will be teaching in the federal prison system... and I'm not sure that I would like that. In any case.. I am trying to prepare for the worst.. but will accept whatever happens... and adjust accordingly... as I always do.
I was so tired last night.. and I don't really know why. I crashed at 8:30 pm and slept for a whole 8 hours.. normally I'll be up a couple of times throughout the night... but not last night. I suppose that's my body saying that I've been pushing myself too hard lately.... or maybe I am just a bit stressed out and needed to unwind a bit. I am a little concerned lately about a few things... monetary situation being one of them.. if I can make it another month.. we should be okay.. but at the moment.. I'm having to prioritize what is needed and what is not.. with just a few things being splurged on.. My daughters will have a decent Christmas.. and that means a lot to me. I am beginning to think my spouse will never look for a job.. and at this point.. I'm going to be spending enough time searching for myself, that I won't have much time to look for one for her. It is storming outside now.. and afterwards there should be a colder change in the weather.. I sort of like winter.. it reminds me so much of my life lately. Yes... I get a bit down about things... but I still am feeling much better about my current state than I have been in the last year or so.. I woke up this morning listening to the wind and rain... the thunder... and watching the flash of lightning.. I love storms... so much so that I wouldn't mind living where there were storms.. or at least rain.. every other day.. only I'm not so fond of the colder temperatures. I don't have any reason to go out, anyway...
My dad still calls as much as ever.. if possible.. I think he could be getting a little worse.. his calls start now about 30 minutes before I get off work.. and at times he calls me 25 - 30 times before I get free.. even though I have told him that I would call him every day when I got free.. I have decided to stop that.. he doesn't listen anyway.. and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't know how bad it's going to get.. but I am ready for the worst.. and if it gets too bad, maybe I will enlist the aid of my sisters. One of my sisters had a birthday yesterday... my spouse and grandmother the day before.. and my daughter has one today... my mom's birthday would have been today also. I miss her so much sometimes. It is still hard not to cry when thinking about her... and most times I end up shedding a tear or two.. But life does go on.. and we have to deal with it. I think maybe that might be part of Dad's problem.. having to deal with it being Mom's birthday... we'll see if it slacks up after awhile...
I am still playing my World of Warcraft.. I will have a whole week next week where I am taking off because I don't want my compensatory time to turn into overtime. My center doesn't like it when that happens. I really don't care what they like and don't like anymore.. as my loyalty is not as strong as it once was. I will do what I'm able.. and keep plugging away at my job.. but as far as all these things that are not considered a part of my duties.. I DO know if I don't get the evaluation I deserve.. I am not going above and beyond the scope of my job anymore.. I'll do my job superbly.. and that will be it.
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