Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Tomorrow is Mother's Day... I have already started thinking about it.. as a matter of fact.. I've thought a little about it for a week or two.. just trying not to let it get me down.. My mother was a very wonderful woman.. and I'm not saying that just because she was my mom.. I know I've said this before.. but I'll say it all again.. I never heard her speak badly about anyone.. I've never heard her use inappropriate language in front of me.. and she was always the type of person to do what she could for whoever she could.. I sometimes can't believe she's gone.. and I know more people in the world than just me have lost their mom.. but I think losing a parent is different for everyone.. not saying it's easier for anyone.. just different.. I sorta think about that when I tolerate the things my dad does.. although he really makes me want to slap him sometimes.. because he doesn't think clearly in his actions.. I know that at any time.. he could go... and I never want to think he died thinking I might not love him.. he was responsible for helping me come into this world.. just as my mom was.. they shaped me into who I am today.. so.. whether I agree or disagree with their actions.. I tolerate them.. just as they tolerated it when I was making all my stupid mistakes as I was growing up.. I hope that as I get older.. I am able to maintain some common sense.. and do things that don't hurt others.. I try to have an open mind... I get that from my mother.. not my father.. I do love him.. as I still love my mom.. I always will.. until the end of time.. there's not anything I can think of that will change that... it's the unconditional love I give to my daughters... I will love them no matter what they do.. and even though it may seem skewed sometimes. when I think of how my dad acts.. I will overlook it... to a certain point.. I will still maintain who I am.. and do what I need to do.. but dad's actions.. might get me angry.. and a bit upset at times.. but we can get angry or upset with people.. and still love them.. it's wanting them to be in your life.. even if they always aren't.. or if they are too intrusive.. I still want him there.. just not as controlling.  My mother.. always kept a level head and was able to show him what he was doing.. even talking sense into him at times.. I know my dad misses her.. he still visits her grave ...daily I think.. but I don't ask.. I can't hardly go anywhere near the graveyard without feeling the loss.  I guess he's learning to deal with it.. I don't know if I'll ever have something that deep in my life.. but it's hard enough losing my mom.. I don't want to think about any other loss.. but I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it. I think about all the crap I go through.. and none of it compared with the loss of my mother...  Mom was very special... not only to me.. but to everyone who knew her.. thousands of people showed up at her funeral...and she wasn't active in the community.. she didn't work.. but was a housewife and mother.. and in all of that...she touched so many lives just by being who she was.. she never lied.. and held her standards high.. I hope that I can be a part of that.. although sometimes I feel like I've failed.. I drew strength from my mom even though she might not have known it.. and as often as I told her I loved her.. it wasn't often enough.. so I still say it.. knowing that somewhere she'll hear me... so mom.. I love you sooo much.. and you're sorely missed... Happy Mother's Day, Mom...