Stupid Choices.

I think we all tend to run away from our problems instead of facing them head on.. whether it be the conditions of our lives.. or at least our perception of that condition... or maybe we're all just cowards at heart.. in any case.. we do other things to occupy our time instead of meeting the challenges head-on. I blog... I play games... but none of this does anything to solve any problems.. it just helps me displace the problem ...or put it off until a later time.. so things build.. and build.. and build.. until we get to the point where we aren't able to displace things anymore.. or there is nowhere left to run to.  We either have to do something about it.. or crack up...  I sometimes dislike the fact that I care so much.. when I try not to.. not about anything in particular.. but just about everything... I shouldn't.. there are so many things that are beyond my control.. and have nothing to do with me... but I've always been that way.  It would be so much easier to say "fuck off" to everyone.. and just do what I wanted  to do... when I wanted to do it... but my conscience won't let me do that.. even if I did want to.  I think maybe that's why I wasn't always truthful in the past.. to keep from hurting people when I did stupid things.. and we ALL do stupid things...   I had a student who I worked diligently to get into an advanced placement class... He would come out of it starting out at more than I'm making now.. but what happens?... after we get his application packet turned in.. he celebrates by smoking marijuana on center... so now he's terminated... Sometimes we can be one of the smartest people... and do things that will screw our lives up completely... I've done that several times... and there's no going back and changing it.. sometimes you can adjust and still accomplish your goals.. but other times... it's a missed opportunity you will never get back.  We tend to take a lot in our lives for granted... but we also squander many opportunities for being in a better place.. and improving our lives.  I was up at 4:15a this morning thinking about this student and his stupid choice... and some of my stupid choices.. and even other stupid choices I've witnessed... We can't change the way things have been.. but we can go forward and try to rectify the things in our lives that we have screwed up.. We just have to be careful not to make many stupid choices.

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