I Won't Be Needy.

I revisited some of my early posts.. and one I ran across was.. "What Is A Friend" ...that still makes me wonder... I mean.. how do we choose our friends?  ...are we so starved for companionship that we just accept whoever comes down the line.. I always give anyone the chance to be a friend.. as I also give all relationships a chance.. but I have to re-evaluate my life from time to time.. as we all seem to do.. I have never wanted people in my life that don't want to be there.. I think sometimes people are just stuck in situations and choose to settle for friendship or companionship without really thinking it through.  It's okay for people to have a difference of opinion.. and still remain friends.. but at what point does it cease to become a symbiotic relationship and becomes a parasitic one instead... It's all well and good until we let people in our lives who are starving for any attention.. and they settle for us.. I have tried to not be a drain on the lives and emotions of other people.. but I think that we need to have someone in our lives that we are able to share experiences with... I am not talking sexually.. or romantically.. I'm talking about just friendship.. But how do we determine who our close friends are.. I believe it's a whole lot like dating.. we spend time around people and we either grow closer and trust someone more and more... or .. it doesn't work out.. and that person becomes possibly a part of our past... or they are stuck at a level of friendship that won't progress beyond a certain point... and I'm not saying any of  this is good or bad.. I'm only seeing that in reality.. there are so many similar characteristics to developing a friendship.. and dating.. In a sense.. it's the same thing.. only with dating.. there is a mentality that things might grow beyond a certain point.. There are lots of friends in my life I could never see that happening with... but if someone isn't a friend first.. they will never be more than friends..  I am not certain at this point that I could ever trust beyond friendship.. I know that continues to sound  negative.. but I always see red flags now when I look at my interaction with people.. those red flags are ones I ignored in the past.. because I wanted to believe in something that evidently didn't have the capability to be long-term.. but as friends.. the expectations never grow beyond a certain point... and sometimes it's just much easier to only be friends. Anyone who has read much of my blog knows I have trust issues.. I might always have them.. and I can't pretend I don't now.. and it's not even thinking people are lying.. I think that most people still don't know what they want.. or maybe they just can't communicate it.. I've always said that open, honest communication is essential between any two individuals.. But, no matter how our interaction goes.. everyone seems to develop an  agenda.. even if it isn't there at first.. and those people who are online for any length of time.. seem to develop a certain mentality.. the longer someone is online... the more mistrustful I become of them.. only because I have seen what being online has tried to do to me.. and I didn't like who I started becoming.. But we will always develop excuses.. or justifications for our actions.. but in the end.. it doesn't matter what you tell yourself.. Anyone can lie to themselves if their need is great enough. I won't be needy.