I Just Accept That

I think a lot of time we set ourselves up for disappointment.. because we have an idea of the way things are supposed to go... and when it doesn't go that way.. we abandon everything and refuse to adjust to our environment.  Everyone feels like they are reasonable people.. and that they are easy to get along with... but in reality.. most of us are not very flexible.. and we refuse to keep an open mind.  It's only when two people who have the same outlook get together.. that things are good..  and no amount of compromise or adjusting will matter when two people have to live their lives in compromise.  This is what happened in my marriage.. and with a few relationships.. It seems as though there was always something that caused a major conflict in the interaction... but we look at that and say.. it's close enough.. I will settle..  well.. no one should have to 'settle" for anything.. we spend our lives in constant improvement.. and if a person can see a better way to live, then they should go for it.. but different is not always better  ...and sometimes different can lead to many more conflicts if we ignore red flags and the little voice inside of us.  I can't live my life like that anymore.. compromising for other people... those friends that are in my life right now are in it because they see who I am.. and accept me that way.  I try to keep an open mind in my life.. and always strive to improve myself.. and there are times when I will make mistakes.. times when I screw up completely.. but I refuse to let those mistakes overtake my life.. I did that with my marriage.. and most of my discontentment in life is because of that.  I can't go back and change anything.. I've said that many times... but I will continue to learn and grow.  I felt like sometimes I wasn't good enough for other people.. but guess what.. it's those other people who have to deal with it.. I don't ever want anyone in my life that cannot be open and honest with me.. that cannot accept who I am.. I will always have a few trust issues.. I know that... I've seen too many instances of people changing their minds in the blink of an eye to believe that it can't happen again. People are fickle.

This weekend my dad wants to go to a gun show in Nashville... so that's where I'll spend most of my Saturday.. he really has been improving so much.. we only talk once a day... and he doesn't try to trace me down if he doesn't know where I am.. so I can compromise enough to give him a full day every so often.. I do love him.. and he's a great person... His new interest is collecting guns.. well.. I don't have much of an interest in them... but I can reach out and try to be a decent son in that respect.. I still have him going straight to voice mail.. but at least I don't have 14 or 15 voice mails a day anymore... maybe he's learning..  I don't  pretend to understand all of what he's went through... just as no one can understand what I go through.. but we should all make allowances for people we truly care about.. I never am going to change the way I feel about certain things in my life.. I'm positive of that... but I also am not ever going to completely close my mind and not be myself.. My interaction with Dad is a prime example of that.. he has his beliefs.. I have mine.. and we concentrate on our similarities..  not our differences.. if someone's differences become too great.. then yes.. there shouldn't be too many compromises.. otherwise.. the relationship is just another source of conflict.. but in my Dad's instance.. I bear the burden of dealing with that conflict when it arises.. just because he's my dad.. and that's the way things are..  I just accept that.