It Means A Lot

So.. it's my birthday... but it's just like any other day.. I know there's no more difference between today and yesterday.. than yesterday and the day before... or any other two days of my life.. still it's a reminder of how we are getting a bit older.. and that time is catching up with us.  We all are just here on this earth for a little while... but sometimes I wonder how I'll be remembered.. or even if I will be remembered... not that it makes much difference.. but it's nice to be thought of every now and again.  I spent today working.. then come home.. sat in my room.. and will wait until bedtime comes.. and do it all over again.  I did have one of the most peculiar things happen to me today... I had just pulled up in my car to work this morning.. and was sitting with my elbow on the car window.. suddenly a wren flew up and landed by my elbow and pecked it. scared the flying flip out of me.. not that I'm scared of birds or anything.. but to be taken by surprise so quickly.. it was just one of those things that freaked me out a little.. Anyway it's over and done.. and life goes on... day after day life goes on and all we can do is watch from our place we've been positioned.. and do our little part in the drama that is life.  I do have to admit.. there is very little drama in my life now.. which is a wonderful thing... but I also wonder what will be the next thing to take a turn at trying to knock me down.  I have rolled with the punches so far.. and will continue to do so... I got a cup from my daughters for my birthday.. with some flowers.. and some peanuts.. my dearest friend bought me a cardboard cutout of a tv character and sent it to me.. my dad got me a card.. and of course my rod and reels and the shotgun.. but I've had those a few weeks now.. I'm holding on to them.. so when he starts trying to hold it over my head that he got me this.. or that.. I will end up returning them to him.. maybe that's a bit petty.. but if someone gives you a gift.. it shouldn't be because they want something from you... I have given several gifts to people I cared about.. but I have also given back a gift or two that I no longer wanted.. because I didn't want the reminder of my inadequacies.. or whatever it was that made things change so suddenly.. I know at times.. I've been an ass about certain things.. and unfortunately I don't really care that I come off looking like one.. I like who I am now.. I'm comfortable with who that is.. and I don't even feel the need to explain myself or my actions anymore.. it's not like anyone is holding me accountable.. or even can, actually... but no matter how I look at my interactions with other people.. I am glad I have had friends who have stuck with me.. just as I've tried to stick with them.. even still.. they owe me nothing.. just as I owe them nothing.. that's why I am comfortable with certain people in my life.. The fact that they are there.. just because they want to be.. I'm the type of person that doesn't easily give trust.. but when I do.. it means a lot..