I Have Adjusted Pretty Well.

So I can't sleep.. tried but got back up... I read a popular book today..  "50 Shades of Grey" ...that had me go through a whole range of emotions.. yes.. it was very erotic in places.. and I could even see where some people might get into the BDSM lifestyle.. but then they sorta screwed it all up by making the main guy somewhat mentally unstable.. okay.. we all have our issues.. and we have our ideas of what sex is supposed to be about... I will even admit that experimental sex would be very hot.. even being controlled.. and controlling is erotic... some playful spanking might be okay.. I'm not sure how much beyond that.. My thoughts are fairly open minded... my outlook is any type of relationship between two people shouldn't be a contract.. it should be about two people who want to explore together... a shared control... otherwise it becomes objectifies the entire experience.. and it shouldn't be that way.. it should be about passion.. the activities in the book were great.. for the most part.. I've participated in spanking to the point of slight  bruising.. but it wasn't mean to hurt someone... and I never wanted to humiliate or cause suffering.. there's a lot of layers to everyone.. we're all like onions.. and my onion just doesn't slice up that way.. never did.   I think we all develop ideas and norms we think is right and wrong in relationships and sex.. but to be honest.. I would never tell anyone they are doing their relationship wrongly.. or having sex the wrong way... all I can do is put forth my personal opinions... but if something works between two people... I say go for it.. I always tried to remain open in all my relationships.. friendships and otherwise.. and I will be the first to say that sex is mostly mental... I've always said that... it's why I've been able to bury those feelings deep inside me... because I don't see ever having sex with someone that I don't feel a certain way about.. and I usually look at people and drive them off if they start getting too close.. those that hang around.. usually end up becoming friends... and where I've said that you have to be friends first before you can be anything else.. well.. that's true... but maybe it's something where you have to develop both at the same time... my problem is that I get a certain mental image of my "friends" ...and then my mind won't let it go into another zone.. I've spoken about my friend zone... of which there is no escape... that's where everyone seems to end up.. it's a catch-22 situation.. because I don't trust people until I become close friends with them... but once I become close friends... they move to my friend zone.. and I don't have sex with people in my friend zone.. but I can't have sex without a huge degree of trust...  I might be severely mental.. but that's just the way I feel. So... do I think about sex much.. no.. because it's much easier to bury it deep inside than to open myself up for feelings I can never fulfill. I have adjusted pretty well..

Comments

  1. ironyJune 30, 2013 at 7:50 PM

    I have never read the book but u started talking about friend zone and the trust thing.. I have submitted to the desires of the flesh without the trust, without love, and without care a few times, once for near of a year with someone we both know. But I have to say special k, its different when u have those things, better because the bonds there. There are raw unhindered days and soft sensual ones as well as give it to me now days... but the bond helps make it more awesome.

    Ur not mental for wanting a bond with someone and differentiating the friendzone and loverzone. We all do it, a few actually listen to the voice that's attached to their danger zones.

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