This Is The Way I Am.

I'm tired of limbo.. I'd like to take that limbo stick and shove it up someone's ass.. but then that could be construed as me having sex.. just with a limbo stick as a dildo.. I've seen some almost that big.. and no.. I have no intention of ever getting one...   I had a long day today... lost 2 1/2 hours worth of work this morning because I forgot to hit "save"  yeah... I know.. I'm a computer tech.. I should know better.. well.. I screwed up.. will be awhile before I make that mistake again.. if I ever do..  There was a visit today from the home office.. I still don't know what was discussed as I'm not that far up on the totem pole.. but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.  I am looking forward to a change of any sort at this point.  I have so much work piling up on me... I sometimes think I'll never get it all done.  ...but it's okay.. I'll adjust.. and do what I can do.. and the rest of it.. can just go suck an egg...   I am tired tonight.. it's just been an emotionally draining day.. I am supposed to have a 3 day weekend this weekend.. and then next week is my birthday.. I'll be 47.. I am not worried about my age anymore... I'm not much different than I was a year or two ago.. my body has ceased going downhill.. and has reached a plateau... don't know for how long.. but I'll just enjoy feeling okay.. although I did start to eat normally again.. and now I feel sorta bloated and sluggish all the time.. it's like eating is a chore and it drains me more than anything.

Somehow I ended up with a shotgun and two fishing poles for my birthday.. all from my dad.. and that's more than I've gotten from him in the last 10 years combined...  I wonder what he's up to.. but maybe that's just my suspicious nature.  I have discovered that I really don't trust anyone.. and I don't know if I ever will.. I'm pretty much broken of that habit.. thanks to the people that helped me achieve this state.. you know who you are.. I sometimes think I should put my blog private.. I don't know who reads it anymore.. nor do I care.. I just refuse to change things just because of one or two people.. and honestly.. those that don't like what I have to say don't have to read it anyway... it's been 3 months and a week since Ash Wednesday.. so I haven't looked at my counter since then.. sometimes I get tempted to peek.. then I'm always glad when I don't...  so I like having that much will power.. there are a lot of things in our lives that take will power.. and then most of us succumb to temptation.. no matter what it is.. there is always something that we don't want to do.. that we end up doing anyway... but I've been able to put aside most anything along that lines.. and I'm proud of myself for it...

I tend to ramble at times.. about anything and everything.. just because I am trying to figure out the right way to say things... and in doing so, I put forth all kinds of incomprehensible garbage while trying to make my point... I don't ever really intend on being so vague in the things I say.. but when I go back and read it.. it seems as though I am..  but that's life.. and this is the way I am.

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