I Need To Try To Make Them Good Ones.

I got to reading through my previous week's blogs.. and it sort of sounds like I'm now mentally unstable... it's not that I am on my last nerve or anything.. nor am I close to cracking... I just get frustrated sometimes by all the crap that life dishes out... and at times it just doesn't seem to stop.  It's been  awhile since I've been in a great place, but I will always pull myself out if it.. because somewhere.. sometime... things have to get a little better.  I think that most of us feel the pressures of life when we're hit with as much extra stuff as I've went through... Part of my recent escapade into the world of "my life is crap".. stemmed from my trip to Nashville.. I had a normal  or at least semi-normal evening.. even though I worked all day at gathering documentation and driving...when the evening came.. I sat down face to face with two people.. and we ate together.. we went shopping together... drove 10 minutes back home and my life felt a bit normal again.. instead of living out in the middle of nowhere and isolated from activity and interaction on a daily basis.  I think that most people have to have that in their lives.. and I'm sure at some point.. I will integrate that in my life. I might have to make an effort to get that... I don't even have to live inside a big city.. but when I can get to a larger city on a regular basis, I think that's a step in the right direction.  What's it going to take?... what am I going to do?  I really don't have a clue yet.. I'm going to live my life as I come to it... wade through the crap and wash myself off then I'll just be satisfied with the periods of time I can sink back into normalcy. I will make the effort to explore opportunities to interact and socialize.. even if not on a daily.. or weekly basis... then when I can.. Life isn't always fair.. believe me, I know that all to well.  But it is life.. and we either deal with it.. or we die.  I've never been one for giving up.. and and don't plan on dying anytime soon.  So either I can continue to wallow in my situation.. or I can do the best I can about it. I may have to make some changes to my established pattern of behavior... but unless I make the effort to do something about it.. I have no right to complain.  That's what I tell my students all the time... most people expect life to just hand them something. It doesn't work that way.. if you truly want to make a difference.. get involved in life.. in anything.. and make that difference... then deal with the outcome... it's not always a positive one.. but just every once in awhile.. things can seem normal.. and even then.. maybe if you're lucky.. something good can happen.. I have said in the past.. and I'll say it again.. I choose my own path.. the outcomes then become my responsibility.. I may not have always made good choices.. but they were my choices.  I have to live with them.. just as I will have to live with my future choices... I need to try to make them good ones.