I Hide It Well.

I have a wedding to attend.. I wonder if I can stop it if I really try hard ...LOL.  No.. next Friday night, my oldest niece is getting married... I hope it turns out much better for her than for most people I've run across.  So why is everyone so gung-ho on getting married... what makes us feel like that's what we should have striven for?  I for one have mixed feelings.. I love my daughters and if I hadn't married.. I would never have had them.. at least not like they are now.. but in another sense.. I feel a bit selfish.. I want some me time in my life.. I've always felt I've lived my life for other people.. I know I've visited this concept in a past blog.. I was just sort of feeling it more lately.  I love doing things for other people.. don't get me wrong.. but I hate to feel forced into it.. I like the idea of being able to do what I want.. for who I want.. and when I want.. maybe I AM a control freak.. I don't care if I am or not.. I just hate having little to no control in my life.  I'm worried that they might not close the center.. there are all kinds of rumors lately.. We will have a budget in place next week and should know a bit more on Monday or Tuesday... I don't have a clue what is entailed.. but we'll live with whatever it is.. I do know that I will need to focus more on getting another job... and if they keep us open.. I can take my time with it.. I need to keep focused on getting out.. and living my own life..

My student numbers are slowly dwindling... I am down to 13 students a day in my class now.. and it will be at least another month before they take any more students into our program.. if they do at all.  It seems as though I get more and  more calls about answering questions.. I've been referred to by several people on center as the "go to guy"  ...not sure I like that.. as it seems to have caught on.. and people are asking me about things that really aren't my responsibility.. but I do know the answer.. I enjoy being that type of person that can help out.. I am not able to focus as much on my responsibilities if I am doing all the other crap for everyone else. I enjoy getting caught up.. but it has been far too long since that has happened.  Right now I was supposed to get a bonus of $2500 for my outstanding review.. but for some reason they put it in as a week off work instead.. that's not what I agreed on.. nor what I was told I'd get.. I don't know what my options are yet.. but I will do what I can to get what I was promised...  ...on a whim, I just looked to see when I will start accumulating more vacation pay.. and on Aug. 30, I start accumulating 6 hours every two weeks.. instead of 4 hours..  so I will have to take a few weeks off between now and the end of the year.. what is freaky is I just calculated.. if I stay with the government... I will have 20 vacation days next year that I have to take.. not counting the 30 days of vacation I will have accumulated that I can carry over. that's almost 2 months that I have to take next year... wow.. and I have issues taking two weeks.. I guess I need to take up a hobby to use up all that spare time...  I'm sure I'll come up with something.  I'm a genius it's just that I hide it well...

Comments

  1. ironyJune 6, 2013 at 7:19 AM

    Lol... just means u can veggie in front of pc all day in pjs eating cheetos... *dreams*

    ReplyDelete
  2. ironyJune 6, 2013 at 7:25 AM

    I think a vast majority of us decide to get married because we feel it is the most natural pattern. Humans are adaptive by nature but when we finally grasp something traditional or sentimental we hold onto it as though its the original recipe.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not In My Lifetime.

It's 1:15 am.. I just got back from my niece's wedding.. and it was.. different .. not what I was used to.. but nice all the same..  I only have this to say about the reception... WTF!!! l guess I should give a bit of background information... my spouse wandered off doing her own thing.. as I prefer it that way... so when I happen to come into close proximity of her by accident.. she motions me over.. and has been talking to the head of the catering company... they have been talking for awhile.. and in a short period of time.. they have been getting to know each other a bit..   as I approach.. this woman.. who's name is the same as my spouse.. is saying.. "I just seem to know him.. he looks like John.. somebody"  My spouse then starts with a sales pitch of how great of a guy I am.. and what I do teaching computers.. and this woman starts striking up a conversation with me in front of my spouse.. she even talks about how handsome I am...   she mentions that she i...
Read more

Something I Have Learned Well.

It's odd how we interact with others on so many levels... one would assume by my wide range of references that I have a large assortment of friends.. In all actuality, the people in my circle of friends could be counted on my hands.. and close friends... well..  easily on one hand. I'm not what I would consider a social butterfly... but to be honest.. I sometimes like crowds.. I enjoy having groups of people around me.. I don't stick out like a sore thumb.. and sometimes getting lost in the rest of the world... isn't such a bad thing. How often do you go and "people watch" ....and then think about those people once you're gone... not very often, I'm guessing.. not unless one did something completely out of the ordinary.  I just like having the feeling that I'm normal.. an ordinary person... I just sat here in this chair for most of the weekend.. not really accomplishing anything.. nothing constructive by any means... I feel as though maybe I'm...
Read more

I'm Looking Forward To A New Year.

Been through ice the last few days... lots of time to take off between now and the end of the year... but I will get it in. I tend to not worry about much of anything lately. There's no need.. life is perfect... or at least headed in a perfect direction. I am still irritated at my boss and don't feel that I can truly talk to her without wanting to slap some sense into her... and I'm not a violent person... I don't like the feelings she provokes in me. I haven't felt those feelings before. I would never contemplate seriously hurting anyone on purpose... but with her.. I just want answers... show me WHY you would do such a thing. Not a whole lot I can do about it now.. I will just ride it out until I can go elsewhere... it won't be much longer anyway. I got new glasses yesterday. They are the first plastic frames I've had in 30+ years... black and simple. I actually am growing to like them in a hurry. I spent my time driving to and from the city on the phone...
Read more