It won't get much better.

Back to work today... lots of things changing around me.. I hope people are able to put their best foot forward.. and make things happen for them.. but I'm somewhat skeptical of things... I think that most people have forgotten to put the shoe on  the other foot.. for as I like to constantly say.. reverse the roles.. If someone feels a certain way about something.. they should behave.. just as though they want to... actually it goes back to something that everyone has probably heard... The golden rule... do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  What's so hard about that.. If everyone could live by that.. we would all be much better off.  Do I have any direction where my life is headed?.. nope. not at the moment. I sorta feel like the world has spiraled out of control again.. just when I was beginning to hang on.. Not because of any one event.. but because of a series of events that are beyond my control.  That's ok.. I always adjust.. I just see so many people around me hurting.. or  headed for hurt.. and there's nothing I can do to stop it.. ...watching the train wrecks, I suppose.. Not that I want to see anymore now.. and certainly not involving people close to me.  I've been off for the last 2 days.. off sick.. and I feel a little drained.. even though I spent much of the time in bed.   I was online for almost all of it.. now it's time to get back to work.. I want to be able to do what I can to catch up.. because once you fall behind.. that's very difficult.. Relationships.. are the same way.. you can forget to work on a relationship for awhile.. and once time has passed.. it's sometimes difficult to make up ground.. or take up where you left off. I have experienced that first hand.. but.. I've also been influenced by outside forces... being someone that I wasn't.. I won't let that happen again... no matter what.. if someone is a friend.. and they haven't done anything to make me mistrust them completely.... I will always have room for them in my life... It's all about trust.. I say I don't trust anyone.. completely.. that doesn't mean there are those people for which I have a great amount of trust.. I want those people in my life.. because I need some degree of trust there.. I won't pretend that I am the all knowing- all seeing guru who can guide everyone through rough roads.. and difficult patches in their life.. but I have "seen" a lot lately.. in my mind.. and things generally have a way of heading the direction I have been shown.. I've sort of freaked a few people out lately.. and then there is people who are used to it.. and say.. oh well..   I feel like I'm just very observant.. and can draw conclusions which are predominantly right.. even when people are adamant that they aren't.. I have been wrong a couple of times.. but I would still bet on these.. feelings. ...I hope they're not all true.. because I feel like there is never going to be anything better for me in my life.. than what I have now.. I see a dark future ahead of me.. and because I refuse to trust.. because I CAN'T trust.. It won't get much better..