It's much safer that way.

I think it's time to revisit honesty... sometimes.. when we don't know what we've done.. we may make mistakes.. much the same as when we are unsure... I very recently passed along some information completely on accident because I wasn't aware that is wasn't common knowledge.. I have mixed feelings about that.. First.. if I consider someone a friend.. and really screw up and do something bad.. I would try to fix things with that person, rather than keep the knowledge hidden.. Secondly.. I would hope that anything that involved a friend.. would not be disclosed to me.. because if one of my friends knew something.. even something that would hurt me.. I much prefer to go ahead and know.. rather than find out later.. because everything always comes out.. sooner or later... in some instances.. it can be much later.. but then it does much more damage if that is the case. I ask that people do not ask me to keep secrets from my friends.. I can keep secrets.. and have many of them locked away up inside my cranium... but none of them are things that my friends would be upset if they knew..

In the same aspect, sometimes we do things that we say we aren't going to do.. on accident.. and that's completely understandable.. but then.. we do them again.. and again.. on purpose... many times it's not about what's being done.. but the fact that we said we wouldn't do them.. I suppose it's easy to let things go.. when it is something we can justify in our minds.. it still doesn't make it any less of a lie...  A lot of things happen.. especially recently.. that make me more certain that all the things I believe will come to be the truth.. I hate being right... many times.. it is just little things that chip away... slowly working toward a certain end.. but I find it more and more difficult not to believe in the eventual withdrawal of friends from my life.  I always want my friends to do what they feel is best for them.. but please don't lie to me about it.. That just speeds up the process of your departure.. and makes me trust people even less. I cannot pretend to know everything.. but the feelings I get are sometimes overwhelming of my eventual loneliness.. it's hard not to thing about future events when much of your life is little visions of future occurrences.  I don't want to make plans.. I want to continue to live in the moment.. but I am not opposed to keeping my eyes open so that I don't get pummeled by future events.  I will continue to live my life.. and will continue to keep from emotionally investing myself in anyone.. it's much safer that way.