Be Yourself.

I started playing World of Warcraft early this morning.. but the world server just crashed.. and I found myself not really involved in anything else.. so.. I'm blogging.  I suppose at times.. we all have ideas that we want to get out.. and most of the time.. my ideas seem all negative.. but I'm not a completely negative person.. even if I am completely cynical.. there is a difference.  I think that positive things can happen.  ...but I won't allow them to influence my life.  I would figure that anyone with much experience at all.. would belong to the same mindset as I am.  Of course that would mean actually facing your inner demons...   I don't choose to be involved in a relationship.. and I won't.. it's not because I have anything against anyone.  I am this way.. because I want to be.  I will not allow anyone to have that much control over my happiness.. mainly because I refuse to trust anyone that much.  I will have friends.. and the friends will come and go... and I completely understand that.  I see what people do behind other's backs.. the things they say.. and I know that even in being dishonest for a reason.. little white lies.. it still marks a person's character.  Am I any better?... nope.. of course not.. but I can deal with myself in my own fashion.. and even so.. I trust myself more than I will ever trust anyone else.  I don't want commitment in my life.. I sometimes have people to come to me.. to get my opinion on things.. but.. even still.. it's only my OPINION.. I don't have a crystal ball that sees the future... even though some people might think so.  This blog.. is riddled with my opinion.. If a person wants to change my opinion.. good luck.. more than likely all that will happen.. is that I will be somewhat irritated.  If someone states their opinion.. I might agree.. I might not.. that doesn't mean I hold anything against that person... yet it seems that if two people can't agree on something.. it creates a rift or barrier between them for some reason.  I don't know why.. I don't care to know.. but if anything this should signify that a person is thinking for themselves.   I don't want someone around me that is going to always agree with me.. just because it is what they think I want to hear.  That is a major problem with my spouse... I never know what is going through her head because all she ever does is agree with me.  That bothers me tremendously. I refuse to give other people all their opinions... if someone cannot debate with me.. and everything be okay afterwards.. then they should go their own way.. because  that person is just looking for reaffirmation. ... not a friend. I have rubbed a lot of people the wrong way especially with some of the things I have put in my blog.  so.... deal with it.. this is how I feel.  My thoughts on things will differ from time to time.. but my fundamental beliefs are the same.  I have a certain range of basic opinions that will probably never change.. or if they do.. it's because some major event has helped to shape them in a different direction. I cannot please people.. just because that is what they want to hear... I've done that a few times in the past.. and it was wrong of me.  I now think back on parts of my life that I could have done differently... but I'm glad I didn't....for the most part anyway.... sure.. I've made several mistakes along the way.. but I live and learn from those mistakes.  My main outlook is that most people do not change... not drastically.. If someone is a liar or thief... they will probably always be a liar and thief.  If someone cheats on their spouse.. they will probably do so in the future also... Too many times, we aren't happy with who we are.. and we look to other people to either change us.. or define us.. that is crazy.  Those that are too weak of character to be their own person.. have no place in my life.  I like to have people in my life that can be themselves.. not who they think I want them to be.  If you have to be anyone.. be yourself.