It's All About Me.
So I realize I'm a realistic, pessimistic, egomaniac. ...and I'm okay with that... This doesn't mean I am down about it... it doesn't mean I'm even sad about my life.. disappointed at times.. but I figure everyone is to a point. I believe that people are basically evil. Maybe not completely evil.. but perhaps.. egocentric. That's why I have chosen to join them.. I think everyone is looking out for number one. I have a tendency to question anyone and everyone.. "What's in it for you?"
...that tends to run through my mind a lot. I figure that people can do nice things.. but for the most part, it is so they can justify some of the other things they can do. I had a discussion not too long ago about the sites.. and what they are. If you are a couple on a site... you are there mainly for the audience... because you can do everything you post there.. in private. If you are a woman on the sites.. you are hoping to find a guy to bang you after fulfilling your idea specs of what a guy should be. But you want a discrete fuck.. not one he will go running around telling everyone about. You need confirmation from someone to let you know you are worthy of attention. Usually this is due to a lack of self-esteem. ...face it.. everyone knows what happens on the sites.. and they still go there. How many times have you seen someone screwed over? Look at all the drama that ensues. It is emotional suicide to actually be looking for anything of substance. If you are guy on the sites.. you just wanna prove that you can still get some.. even if you aren't getting any at home. ...and if it just so happens that you make her think she can fall in love with you.. bonus points.. you're just THAT irresistible. I suppose if people can get it straight..and agree that it's just playing house online... it might work.. but too many times.. it becomes too real for one or the other.. and then the game is ruined. It took me several years to figure out that this is truly how it is.. and I'm not just going by my experiences.. I'm going by the experiences of almost everyone I know. Is there an exception? ...I seriously doubt it.. but I could be proven wrong. ...to me, I wouldn't place any hope in something like that actually happening. You don't go in a whorehouse for the ambiance. ...you don't go into a library to swim.. People know they score.. they know what everyone is there for.. and try as much as they want to lie to themselves... the fantasy will only go so far. This is the reason I am away from there... all I found was people wanting to play the game.. and as long as it stayed a game.. all was good.... once there might be an inkling of substance.. the game was over.. and it was time to watch them run in another direction.. .with someone else that could continue... with it just being a game. I don't fault them for that. But I've learned my lesson. ...and I continue with my pessimistic attitude. This is the way people really are... but you won't find many to admit it.. so ... yes.. I admit that once I found out what it's all about.. if I were to remain.. I'd be just like them... but I'm not afraid to admit that even still.. I'm very egocentric. I'm living my life the way I feel to... after all... It's all about me.
...that tends to run through my mind a lot. I figure that people can do nice things.. but for the most part, it is so they can justify some of the other things they can do. I had a discussion not too long ago about the sites.. and what they are. If you are a couple on a site... you are there mainly for the audience... because you can do everything you post there.. in private. If you are a woman on the sites.. you are hoping to find a guy to bang you after fulfilling your idea specs of what a guy should be. But you want a discrete fuck.. not one he will go running around telling everyone about. You need confirmation from someone to let you know you are worthy of attention. Usually this is due to a lack of self-esteem. ...face it.. everyone knows what happens on the sites.. and they still go there. How many times have you seen someone screwed over? Look at all the drama that ensues. It is emotional suicide to actually be looking for anything of substance. If you are guy on the sites.. you just wanna prove that you can still get some.. even if you aren't getting any at home. ...and if it just so happens that you make her think she can fall in love with you.. bonus points.. you're just THAT irresistible. I suppose if people can get it straight..and agree that it's just playing house online... it might work.. but too many times.. it becomes too real for one or the other.. and then the game is ruined. It took me several years to figure out that this is truly how it is.. and I'm not just going by my experiences.. I'm going by the experiences of almost everyone I know. Is there an exception? ...I seriously doubt it.. but I could be proven wrong. ...to me, I wouldn't place any hope in something like that actually happening. You don't go in a whorehouse for the ambiance. ...you don't go into a library to swim.. People know they score.. they know what everyone is there for.. and try as much as they want to lie to themselves... the fantasy will only go so far. This is the reason I am away from there... all I found was people wanting to play the game.. and as long as it stayed a game.. all was good.... once there might be an inkling of substance.. the game was over.. and it was time to watch them run in another direction.. .with someone else that could continue... with it just being a game. I don't fault them for that. But I've learned my lesson. ...and I continue with my pessimistic attitude. This is the way people really are... but you won't find many to admit it.. so ... yes.. I admit that once I found out what it's all about.. if I were to remain.. I'd be just like them... but I'm not afraid to admit that even still.. I'm very egocentric. I'm living my life the way I feel to... after all... It's all about me.
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