Go Away.

Finally... the government has released criteria for closing centers... and it's about time... and as I said to several people.. they are going to take the past 5 years' performance into consideration. Our center has not been doing very well in all the criteria that I see listed. I don't want to see any of my coworkers lose their job... but I'm very relieved to finally not be waiting for it to close.  I figured it was just a matter of time. ...and as usual.. I seem to be right about most of what's taking place. I am polishing up my resume and tweaking my computer skills in the time I have left.

I seem to irritate some people when they bring up conversations.. but it's my understanding that if they bring up topics which they know I am not prone to discuss.. they might not like my comments.  I am not trying to be mean.. nor am I trying to upset anyone... but I will put forth my opinion.. as it is just that.  If you don't want my opinion on something.. it's best if the topic is not broached at all. I know everyone has their own opinions.. and I applaud those people that can stand by their convictions.. I won't tell you what you want to hear... just as I expect you not to say something just because it's something you think I want to hear.  I suppose that's not being supportive.. but everyone should know the score with me by now... if you want realism according to my experience.. that's what you're going to get..  if you want to bury your head in the sand.. I've got a shovel.. and I'm gonna dig it out. I try to watch myself by not bringing up topics that might be sensitive in nature to those I happen to chat with.. but even every once in awhile I can make a mistake in that arena... when I do.. I deserve anything I hear.... although most everything I hear.. I already have heard before.  One thing I've learned.. if you do something... no matter how private.. no matter how obscure.. if it is online.. eventually several people are going to find out about it.. then more... I was probably one of those people that believed in... don't ask.. don't tell.. and I'm not lying about it.. as far as things I've done.. or said... but I've slightly changed in that respect.. I have no problem admitting to anything I've done before... I've said things to people just to get reactions.. and that was immature.. even stupid of me.  I've said things out of spite.. again.. very immature.  I've tried to work on relationships that I shouldn't have.. and paid the price for it.. There have been numerous conversations with people that were... pushing boundaries.. but.. never more than one person at a time... meaning.. this day.. I am pushing here.. then two days later pushing elsewhere... I have chatted with several people who I found out rather quickly.. I didn't want to even be friends with... but I try to gracefully go away..  I am okay with my past.. not that I wouldn't do some things differently... of course.. we all would... but I learn from my mistakes.. all of them.. Sometimes the lessons don't sink in right away.. and my hard head needs to be smacked a few times...but eventually I figure things out.  Many people are still working their way to a point where they can be content with where they are in life... As for me.. I feel like I'm almost there.. I am okay doing what I do.. saying what I say.. and when I broach my boundaries.. I do an immediate about face and stay in a zone where I know I belong.  I don't care to hurt anyone on purpose.. but as I've said before... I am first in my life.. if someone isn't happy with that.. go away.