The Earth Will Still Keep Turning.

Happy New Year Everyone!!  ....I guess it's time to begin anew... and try to put aside our past... notice I didn't say forget our past.  I think that's part of my problem.  I want to pretend that things didn't happen.  I went as far as trying to eradicate everything from my email... but the strangest thing happened.  I set up Microsoft Outlook with my gmail account.. and it took all night for the account to sync to my computer.. and EVERY FREAKIN' email I had.. deleted or not.. downloaded to my computer.  I spent several hours today sorting through it all.. and I still am not done.. but I've got all the pictures,,, the emails.. back from 2009. I even skimmed through a few of them.. and for the life of me.. it's even more difficult to understand how people can say such things and even less than a week later.. do a complete 180 degree turn around.  I think that most of the conversations would amaze everyone.. but I'll never share them with anyone... I'm not that big of an ass. I don't plan on burying my past anymore... I plan on living with it... but the future is starting with each passing moment.  I live.. I learn.. I grow.. and then I move along with my life... I am not worried about what has or hasn't been said... I'm not planning on holding grudges or exacting any revenge... We all make mistakes... and I know I've made my share of them.  The best thing I can do is to try to keep my life on the path I've chosen and try to not compromise myself.  My trust is still shot.. but I can live with that.  For me to fall what was so earnestly told to me.. time and again... maybe some of it was true.. but the sad part is I'll never know which parts.... not truely.  So... I look for each day to happen.... and bring forth the next.. then the next.  I haven't given up on life... I've just given up on most people.  I always adjust... and I always will.

On another note.. I just read where the fiscal cliff looks like it's going to be avoided.... who would have thought.... oh yeah... ME ....it seems to be taking place just like I said it would.. everyone will walk away heroes... working so diligently to keep our nation from apocalyptic financial disaster.  I know the details aren't hashed out yet.. but the days will come and go... and the earth will still keep turning. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not In My Lifetime.

It's 1:15 am.. I just got back from my niece's wedding.. and it was.. different .. not what I was used to.. but nice all the same..  I only have this to say about the reception... WTF!!! l guess I should give a bit of background information... my spouse wandered off doing her own thing.. as I prefer it that way... so when I happen to come into close proximity of her by accident.. she motions me over.. and has been talking to the head of the catering company... they have been talking for awhile.. and in a short period of time.. they have been getting to know each other a bit..   as I approach.. this woman.. who's name is the same as my spouse.. is saying.. "I just seem to know him.. he looks like John.. somebody"  My spouse then starts with a sales pitch of how great of a guy I am.. and what I do teaching computers.. and this woman starts striking up a conversation with me in front of my spouse.. she even talks about how handsome I am...   she mentions that she i...
Read more

Something I Have Learned Well.

It's odd how we interact with others on so many levels... one would assume by my wide range of references that I have a large assortment of friends.. In all actuality, the people in my circle of friends could be counted on my hands.. and close friends... well..  easily on one hand. I'm not what I would consider a social butterfly... but to be honest.. I sometimes like crowds.. I enjoy having groups of people around me.. I don't stick out like a sore thumb.. and sometimes getting lost in the rest of the world... isn't such a bad thing. How often do you go and "people watch" ....and then think about those people once you're gone... not very often, I'm guessing.. not unless one did something completely out of the ordinary.  I just like having the feeling that I'm normal.. an ordinary person... I just sat here in this chair for most of the weekend.. not really accomplishing anything.. nothing constructive by any means... I feel as though maybe I'm...
Read more

Stay Out Of Things Where I Don't Belong.

I am starting to get used to the hours... I think... who knows.. one day I feel like I was drug out of my bed kicking and screaming... other days I feel like I've been poured full of coffee and energy drinks... I've cut down on my morning coffee by the way... Oh... I didn't blog about that... after first moving here, I started drinking flavored coffee in the mornings... but I've decided I don't want to get dependent on that.... I still have the occasional coffee... but as I've said before... too much of anything is a bad idea... so I cut back.  I also decided to give up something for Lent... I might have blogged about it... but I tried to think of something that would be a sacrifice.. so I gave up masturbation.  I know that's not really in the spirit of Lent... as far as giving up something like that... but hey... I can't think of many other things I enjoy more... especially with my sex life as it is... I sorta don't have the inspiration at this poi...
Read more