As I Always Do.

Yesterday was definitely a Monday... I was very busy most of the day.. and I found out that my supervisor has accepted another job elsewhere... another in a growing list of people who are jumping ship.  I would almost apply for his position if I thought the center was going to stay there.. at least until it bumped me up to a GS-11. Then I could seek employment elsewhere, myself. I enjoy teaching too much though.. it's a difficult decision.  Just another thing for me to ponder... added to the pile of things that already consume much of my brainpower these days. Tomorrow is my 2 year anniversary officially with the government. I will be getting a step increase in salary.. only if just a little bit.. at least it's something.  I need to work diligently to get things wrapped up in the next 3 weeks.. before my supervisor heads out...  I really dread having to train another one. Currently, my boss knows that I can take care of my area.. well... actually I've gotten it to the point of taking care of itself. I could be gone a couple of weeks with no problem. ...just a little catch-up when I returned.  I seriously need a vacation of some sort... just to be away for a bit..

I get to thinking about the way things are... and I need ...something.. I know I say I'm okay.. and I am.. I just believe things are mounting up... waiting to hit me out of the blue with something devastating. I hate that feeling. I don't have a clue what it is.. but it has been a sense of foreboding for a few days now.  I really don't care what happens.. I just wish if something is going to try to ambush my life, it would go ahead and happen... while I'm semi-braced for it. At least this way I won't be thrown too much off balance.  My life seems to be a series of off-balancing events anyway. I get through them.. as do we all. We can only deal with the things we know about.. but there is always so much happening in the minds of others, we can only guess what they are thinking. Actually, I really don't need to dwell on that.  It would be nice if people were all as blatant about their actions and thoughts as I try to be here, but that would make life too simple.. too easy. I suppose that whatever is going to happen... will happen in its own time.... and I will just have to adjust... as I always do.