I won't compromise my principles.

Holy heckfire, batman... I'm a member for a short period of time.. and I start getting so many propositions that I am definitely certain I may have made the wrong choice in starting back... I have 157 messages so far... but over 150 of them are from people just wanting to get together... and fuck.. no.. I'm not about that... I only know of one person that has been completely decent so far.. and will continue to chat with her unless things change along that perspective..but I've come to the conclusion that 99 percent of the online social community just wants to find someone to fuck... of course everyone has their set of standards... and some are more coy about it than others... more calculating.. some will lie to themselves.. and even some are so shy they will not be able to quite go that final step and take it more than online.. at least with the people I am getting contacted by, they are completely honest about what they want... even if I don't agree with that.  I think that part of the reason I went online was to find someone that I might be compatable with.. in order to meet them.. and have a long term relationship with.   but... I'm not going to fly from one bed to another. a few years ago.. I was a member of the community I just rejoined.. and I actually met someone... we had drinks once.. dinner.. another time.. and chatted a bit.. and then she invited me to her place to watch a movie.. I went.. she sat on a love seat.. and I sat on the couch... I thought about joining her on the love seat.. but I couldn't go that extra measure... but we watched one of the most horrible movies... Inglorious basterds.. all through the movie.. I thought about "making a move" ...but I'm not like that.. and I realize that.. so.. I didn't even kiss her.. I gave her a goodnight hug.. at about 12:30 am... and drove home.. she never really contacted me after that.. didn't seem interested... and I couldn't just fuck someone that I didn't care about... I even tried texting her a few times.. but she never returned my texts.  so.. anyway.. I read her profile.. as I just happened across it.. and she now states that she has herpes.. because she trusted someone she shouldn't have.. talk about a wake up call.. I am not certain what the circumstances were.. I'm sure she thought she could trust this guy.. but she was after something fun... and she got much more than she bargained for... I feel sorry for her.. and wish her the best... but it is an eye opener to get so close to dealing with something like that.. I have my standards.. I will keep them.. I'm not online to get a fuck.. maybe one of the few left.. yeah.. a fuck is nice.. and if it happened... it was a perk.. but I was about getting to know people on a much more intimate scale.. becoming a part of their lives.. allowing them to share in mine.. I was looking to fill an emptiness inside of me that had been so void for so long.. I just don't care about that anymore.. I am not looking to fill anything.. because most of the time.. someone will just use you to get what they want.. and when you are no longer needed.. you're dismissed. I currently have one friend in my life that has stuck with me through all the ups and downs.. and I've known her longer than anyone else on the online world.. almost 19 months now.... I suppose I trust her as much as I do anyone.. but I still keep guarded..  I don't know why I am still online sometimes... I guess I sorta trust the people who sent me the messages "hey.. wanna fuck" ... moreso than the ones that just toy with you and then run on to their next endeavor... I can't do that...  I won't compromise my principles.

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