I just doubt it.

So.. it looks like the people they were hiring won't be starting until later this month.. if at all.. we'll see. I guess I'll be working the overtime for awhile longer.  I don't know why.. but I look on that as bad news... I'm also having all kinds of problems with my phone.. the digitizer is going out on it.. so most of all I can do with it at the moment.. is answer calls... can't text.. or call out.. can't use my apps.. I've ordered a new digitizer, so it should be arriving later this week.. in the meantime, I will be cut off from people.  I suppose that is ok too, though... I don't have a whole lot to say to most people, anymore.. I have a few people in my life that will contact me.. as for the rest.. they chose to head down their respective paths.. away from mine..  I was invited yesterday to get out.. to just hang out for awhile and actually do something..  I use to love getting out.. and going places.. doing things.. but in the middle of BFE.. it's so difficult to think in those terms.. it's such a hassel to drive a few hours just to engage in any type of social activity... plus I am working so much. ...even the thought of taking him up on his offer.. and just hanging out as friends for a bit.. seems like a monumental task. I will think about it. I am tired of staring at the same 4 walls in my room.. where I spend 95 percent of my home time.. the only time I get out.. is when I escape with my game.. and I view the world.. sure.. it's a virtual world.. but it's all I have. That sounds sort of pathetic doesn't it.  Still.. I continue to use it as an avenue to do the things I'm not able to do in real life. I love to get out.. I love to travel.. I love to fly on airplanes.. I love to live in hotels.. I'm sure I would get tired of it if I had to do it all the time.. but I believe it would take awhile for me to reach that point.  I am getting older.. and have come to the realization that much of what I wanted to accomplish in life.. probably won't happen..  I'll live.  ...maybe not completely at peace.. but who among us really is at peace.. there's still time for me to end up spending the final years of my life in a Buddhist monastery as a monk.. meditating.. and contemplating.. I just doubt it.