I love you, mom.

Hospitals are so uncomfortable... I have been dozing off and on for the last 2 hours... but as usual.. I'm up before 5.. I slept in this chair.. I can't leave my mom now... she has lumps that have spread to different parts of her body... the cancer is too aggressive... and it looks as though she is very far along now... it is so difficult for me to look into the eyes of this woman who had always been so strong... and see her in this weakened condition ...I don't know how long I will be staying here.. but I can't leave her.. not with her so sick... I can see the pain in her eyes... and it is tearing me apart inside. I will continue to pray .. but my prayers now are mainly for her to find peace... I was wrong again.. I suppose I was able to take more emotional pain... I am so tired... and yet I can't rest... I don't know what to do..  I've already realized that this woman I care about so much... will not be with me much longer ...I will always keep her in my heart. If love exists on any level.. it is what I'm feeling for my mother... I love you, mom...

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