being me..

There are a few people out there that seem to think I am pushing to try to blame someone for all my pain.. I can only blame myself... I was the one who trusted.. I was the one who let my guard down.. this was mostly my fault.. A person can only feel guilty if they've done something wrong... I don't feel guilty.. I only feel hurt.. I never felt I did anything wrong.. nor am I doing anything wrong by choosing to put my feelings down... if it bothers anyone to read what I have to say.. then don't.. I said yesterday.. we all have choices..  no one forces anyone to come here and read what is posted.  I made the choice a long time ago to stop visiting the sites.. and I'll stick to those choices.. I have had a couple of times where the sites were brought up to me.. and my response was.... I don't want to know..  all you find there are people pretending... maybe that's why everyone feels so guilty.. they keep pretending to be people that they are not.. pretending to have something they don't.. no wonder so much of the time.. relationships end in disappointment.. it never was in the first place.  I sorta feel sorry for the people that get caught in the trap there... and no matter how "real" you say you are... I am sure if you think for a moment.. you can think of times where you "pretended" also.. perhaps you still do.. Life is real... it's about heartache.. and pain.. and anguish.. but there is also friendship.. and caring.. I do have people I call friends.. and I will do my best to support them..  but my friends don't go behind my back and talk to other people about me.. and spread false statements.. if they did.. I couldn't call them friends.. I do things .. for me.. I show some compassion.. for me.. I am moving through each day the only way I know how.. and at the end of the day.. I can look in the mirror.. and say I am ok with me.. If you're still looking for something.. if you are still dissatisfied with yourself.. it's your own fault.. I am not blaming anyone.. it seems that you are blaming yourself.. and that's YOUR issue.. deal with it.. I choose to be me.. and that's all I can be.. I am only guilty of being me..

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